Musings in the Dark: Feenin' (6/?)


Feenin' (6/?)

Sheila awoke in bed and realized two things immediately.  One, she was sore all over and two, she was not alone.  K’avir was beside her, behind her and from the feel of things, he wanted her again.  He was wedged between her cheeks, hard and hot, moving back and forth.

“Sheila, you are finally awake.”

“Barely,” she murmured, blinking, looking for the chronometer.  “What time is it?”

“Five hundred fifteen hours and forty two seconds.”

“K’avir?  I’ve got at least two hours’ more sleep to get, and I need at least four.  I’m exhausted.”

“I want more,” he said, nuzzling her neck. “I crave you, Sheila.  I must have more of you.”

She moaned, remembering last night.  No wonder she was sore.  Her arm ached.  “K’avir, please…”

Sheila felt kisses on her neck and back as he came over her, flattening her against the bed.  He felt better than her blankets.  “K’avir, not now…not right now.  I’m tired and I’m sore.  I need a hypo for my arm…”

“Sheila,” he murmured between kisses.  “Sheila…”

Sheila closed her eyes.  Insane as it was, she just couldn’t handle him right now.  Her whole body throbbed.  And there were still unresolved issues between them.  With an effort, she moved out from under him and got out of bed. 

He looked at her.  “Do not keep yourself from me, Sheila.  I want you.”

“I’m going to take a shower,” she said.  “I’ve got to see about my arm and have some breakfast.  Can we talk later?  I mean, talk.  We need to discuss this, K’avir.  Don’t get me wrong, the sex is good, but…”

“Sheila, I have been talking to you.  I do not understand.”

“K’avir, we can barely get two words out before we are all over each other.  I mean, we need to communicate in a different way than sex.”

“That is illogical,” he said.  “I have been clear in my wishes, Sheila.  We are communicating.  I do not understand what it is that you want.”

She closed her eyes.  “Of course you don’t.  I’m going to take a shower.”

After his morning meeting with the captain, K’avir went by sickbay to check on Sheila.  He was too hard on her last night, but he knew she could handle any type of combat he threw at her.  He was displeased with himself for injuring her and he wanted to be sure that she was fine.  He was about twenty feet from the entrance when he saw that same man standing near the doorway talking to her.  She was wearing her full coverall and her hair was down.  K’avir paused, taking in the sight of her.  Sheila was covered from head to foot.  He couldn’t even see her throat; he’d left a bruise there last night and it was hidden.

She was covering up.  For him.  That human male.

The crewman—Julian—was smiling at her and reached to grab her hand.  Sheila let him take it and then released it as quickly as he had grabbed it.  They were laughing.  Then Sheila turned and went back into sickbay.  Julian watched her leave, his eyes on her ass, and K’avir recognized the hungry look in them.

This was unacceptable.  Unacceptable.  He walked towards Julian.  He had no weapon, but he didn’t need one.  He could snap Julian’s neck with one hand and crush his skull with both.  He could beat him to death with two blows.  He could break his back and tear his head off.  He could kill him in all sorts of fast and imaginable ways, simply because Julian had the nerve to touch Sheila and stare at her in a totally inappropriate way.  Julian, distracted by the gorgeous Dr. Stephens’ retreating form, did not realize that he was suddenly not alone.  He turned to see the enormous security chief staring down at him.  Julian returned the stare.  He felt the tension immediately, but was too arrogant to realize the seriousness of the situation.

“I’m sorry, but do you have a problem with me?”

K’avir glared at him.  “You would be wise to cease your visits to Medical Bay, Lt. Matthews.”

“Excuse me?”

“I speak clearly.  My words are not confusing.”

“Did you just tell me to stop coming to sickbay?”

“It would serve you well if you did, Lieutenant.  This is the only warning you shall receive.”

Julian stared at K’avir, not connecting the two events.  Sheila never spoke of another man, not even a boyfriend.  Even the others he queried also acknowledged that she was single, so he had no idea what the security chief was talking about.


“Unpleasant circumstances will befall you if you do not cease and desist.”

Julian shook his head and turned to walk away, dismissing K’avir.  “Whatever, guy.”

K’avir started to go after him, five manners of murder in mind, but heard his name.  When he turned, he saw the captain.

“Captain.”  He stood at the ready.

“K’avir.  As you were.”


“I am curious as to why you just ordered Lt. Matthews to refrain from visiting sickbay.”


“Does he have an ongoing medical condition?”

“I am not aware of that, Captain.”

“Nor would you be, K’avir.  That knowledge is specifically reserved for Dr. Stephens and her staff.  If Lieutenant Matthews has an ongoing circumstance that requires regular visits to sickbay, then you have no basis to restrict him.  You have no basis to restrict anyone.  Now I will ask once more:  Why did you tell him to cease and desist and what unpleasant circumstances will befall him if he does not?  This starship is no longer a spontaneous violent environment, K’avir.  You are aware of that.”


“Speak, K’avir.”

“Captain, Lt. Matthews’ visits to Medical Bay are unrelated to his health.”


“Yes sir.”

“And you came about this knowledge how, K’avir?  I do not wish to hear that you have been accessing confidential files.”

“I have not, sir.  I am merely…aware…of certain things.  Lt. Matthews’ continuous visits to Medical Bay are…of the extracurricular type.”

“Commander Baker has had nothing but positive comments on his adaptation to this ship.  I will need you to specify.”

“He comes to Medical Bay, Captain, to…to see the ship’s physician.”

“Well, that is logical.  Is that not the reason any crew member on this ship would go to Medical Bay?”

K’avir looked at the captain.  Spock stared at his security chief and a very long moment passed.  Then he nodded. “I understand.  Have you spoken with her about this?”

“I have been clear but she does not understand, Captain.  I am confused on what I should do.”

“Fascinating.  My wife predicted this would happen.”


Spock stood with his hands behind his back.  “Human females are creatures capable of extreme illogic, K’avir.  They require, at times, a complete disclosure of information.”

“I have been clear, sir, as well as redundant.  She knows that I want her.”

“She is human.  You are Vulcan.  Both of you require education of one another if this…alliance…is serious enough to warrant a death threat on another crew member, K’avir.”

“Sir, you are aware of my discipline and lifestyle choice.”

“I am.”

“I would be…aggrieved…if she were to…align…with another.”

Spock nodded.  He understood that.

“She is my choice.  She belongs to me.” K’avir continued.  “I wish for her to be my mate.  I will not accept another.”

Spock nodded again.  He understood K’avir perfectly.  Perfectly. “If you can refrain from doing so, I ask that you do not kill him, K’avir.”

“I shall try not to, Captain.  But he has been warned.”

“You must find additional ways to show Dr. Stephens your true intentions.  For lack of a more refined response, you must, as humans say, draw a picture for her.”

“I do not understand, Captain.  Please clarify.”

“You must not leave room for doubt.  As a Vulcan, you would find this illogical, emotional and uncomfortable, as well as redundant.  But if you are certain that she is your choice for a wife, then you must make that clear to her and soon.  Physical intimacy is not enough for human women. You must tell her exactly how you feel.  You know I speak nothing but truth and logic, K’avir.”

“I know, sir.”

“And she will need to understand the ways in which a Vulcan communicates.  She may sense it, but you must recall her experiences with her former consort.  Physical intimacy had precisely one meaning and it is logical that she would continue to think that is the case even though her consort has changed.”

“I understand, Captain.”

“Then report to your post.”

“Aye, sir.”


Sheila worked in her office most of her shift.  Once she straightened it up and checked the integrity of the desk and chair, she sat down and began to schedule physicals and appointments.  She got several minutes into her paperwork and then her mind drifted back to the night before when she and K’avir fucked on her desk.

         Right there.  Right here.

But had they fucked?  Were they still fucking, or was it changing?  She admitted that last night was different in tone and intensity.  Maybe he wanted to be careful because she was injured.  But there was a definite alteration in their sex pattern.  He spoke to her in his native tongue.  K’avir hardly said anything during sex other than her name.  She recalled some of what he said and scribbled it into her PADD.

“Computer, access linguistic dictionary.”

“Acknowledge.  Culture.”



“Phrase:  ‘Ashal-veh.”

“Meaning: Darling.”

“Phrase:  T’nash-veh vaksurik k’diwa.”

“Meaning: My beautiful beloved.”

 Beloved?  Darling?   He called her that?   

Sheila sighed.  She needed to learn how to speak Vulcan.


She hadn’t gotten much farther in her paperwork when she discovered the captain at her door.

“Dr. Stephens?”

“Captain?”  Sheila stood up slowly.  He waved his hand, indicating that she should sit.

“Yes.  I was wondering if you have a few moments to speak with me.”

“Is everything all right, sir?”

“All is well with me, Doctor.  I came to speak with you about you.”


“It is not my way or place to intrude on private matters, Doctor.  As long as this starship functions in the capacity it is meant to, I do not wish to know of the intimate details of my crew.  However, if I feel the need arises, I must intervene.”

“Intervene, sir?”

“You are linked to my security chief, are you not?”

Sheila blushed.  He knew after all.  “Aye, Captain.”

“You, a human female, have chosen to align yourself with a Vulcan male.  Do you know what that means, Doctor?”

“Sir, I—we—it just sorta happened…”

“Incorrect.  When it comes to intimacy, Vulcans do not allow events to just happen.  You are with him because he wants you to be with him.  We are not capricious in matters of the heart, Doctor.  We are quite conscious of that.  So I must inquire once more, do you know what it means for a human woman to align herself with a Vulcan male?”

Sheila’s hand went to her covered throat, subconsciously hiding the fat hickey K’avir left there last night.  “I guess I do not, sir.  I was of the impression that our connection was…capricious.”

“It is not.  K’avir has chosen you.  From your appearance and the way you are covering your throat, it appears that he has marked you.  What that means, simply put, is that he intends for you to bond with him.  And if I am correct in my interpretations, this must happen soon.  It is an integral part of our culture.”


“Come again?”

“I’m sorry, sir.  I meant no disrespect.  I’m just trying to understand what you are telling me.  Did you just say that K’avir intends to bond with me?  Does that mean…”

“In human terms, you will become his wife.  Vulcans are not impulsive in these matters, Dr. Stephens.  The selection of a mate is very, very deliberate.  K’avir has chosen a specific path which requires discipline.  He has been inflexible in this instance, choosing to remain celibate between cycles of…illogic…because it does not behoove a Vulcan trained in combat and security to cater to the whims of the female species.  However, when the time comes, and it comes for all Vulcans, he must take a wife.  This is significant because Vulcans mate for life.  It’s even more significant because K’avir’s choice to be celibate will make his impending time of…illogic…that much more intense.”

“What?  Sir?  I mean, Captain...?”

“Were you impulsive when you allowed the alignment to occur?  Were your intentions temporary?”

“Uhhh, no, Captain.  I like him.  I thought he was attractive.  I felt—” Sheila wanted to kick herself.

“Do you still find him so?  This is important.”

Sheila closed her eyes, thinking of her big, strong, beautiful Vulcan.  She knew she was blushing.  “Very much so, sir.”

“Then the issue has a logical solution.  You will bond with him and that will be that.”

“Sir, if I may ask, how is it that you came to be aware of this situation?”

Spock folded his arms.  “Vulcans do not share.  Once a mate is selected and an opponent dares to challenge, a fight to the death will occur.”


“There is no doubt in my mind that K’avir would be successful.  He is very skilled in such matters.  I doubt if young Lieutenant Matthews would survive ten seconds.”

“Death?  You mean—”

“The gentleman that he believes is interested in you?  Lieutenant Matthews?  K’avir will kill him if he gets in his way.  If he dares to insert himself between K’avir and what K’avir wants, then he will die a violent death.”

“Captain, I didn’t know—”

“Nor would you.  This is not something we discuss.  It is very illogical, but it is.  I am informing you of it now because the gentleman in question came very close to losing his life this morning.  I happened to overhear the exchange.  Lieutenant Matthews is new aboard the Enterprise, and Commander Baker claims he is a worthy employee.  I should hate for him to die because he dares to love you.  I have instructed K’avir not to kill him if it can be avoided.  However, as you are fully aware, sometimes it cannot be.”

Sheila sat with her mouth agape.  Life on the ISS-E changed dramatically because one man decided he wanted the captain’s wife for himself, and nearly every man on board the starship died because of it.  After the attack on Uhura and his unborn child, Spock unleashed hell, rallied the women to his cause, then murdered the rest of the senior staff before assuming command of the ship.  During the uprising, the women killed all of the men who’d committed violent acts against them.  Sheila recalled all too well those mutinous events.  It was because of the carefully planned sedition that K’avir was even in Sheila’s life.

“I don’t want K’avir to kill anyone for me, sir.  I couldn’t live with that.”

“Then you must make it clear to Lieutenant Matthews to leave you alone.  K’avir issues only one warning, and Mr. Matthews has been warned.”

“Aye, sir.”

“And you must familiarize yourself with Vulcan mating practices, dialects and culture.”

“I understand, sir.  But Captain, we don’t understand each other.  I try to tell him what I want and he doesn’t get it.  I don’t mean to dump this in your lap, but you acknowledged that I’m a human woman.  So that means you know I have needs.  He’s not meeting them and I’m frustrated.  You say he wants me, that he was deliberate when he chose me, that he intends to marry me—I don’t get that from him at all.  I feel like he is being capricious with me!  I feel like that all he really wants me for is sex.”

Spock closed his eyes, embarrassment turning the tips of his ears green.  “You are aware that Vulcans are telepaths, correct?”

“Aye, sir.”

“Then he is quite aware of what you want.  It might appear that he does not, and that is because of his limited experience with human females.  However, I can assure you that it is far more than that.”

Sheila shook her head.  “The only thing that I am sure of is that he wants me.  The only way I know it for sure is when we do have—when we are intimate!  I can’t believe I’m discussing this with you, sir!”

“Believe me when I say that I would rather not be a party to this, Doctor.  But as captain, it is my duty to defuse situations before they have a chance to get out of control.  You do not think K’avir wants you for anything more than release and that is not true.  When Vulcans want—and it is a rare thing—they want.  There are no boundaries.  There are no limits.  There are no specific designations.  You are not just an intimate partner.  He would not associate with you were it simply that.”

“I guess I have no choice but to believe you,” Sheila said.  “I just wish I could be sure.  I mean, I never really got a chance at romance, and it irks me to think that’s what I require now, but I do, sir.  I want…I want the kind of attention from K’avir that you pay to your wife.  That’s what I want, sir.”

“I am half-Vulcan, Doctor.  K’avir is a full Vulcan.  You cannot judge him by the way I behave towards my wife.  The standards are different.  But you will have to be very clear in what you say to him.  We are literal beings.  If romance is what you seek, then you tell him exactly what you require.  He will not be comfortable with it, but he will do it because it will please you.  You must be patient with him.  He does not have the experience with human females that I do.”

Sheila nodded. 
“I have made him aware of the same in your case, Doctor.  You must learn about one another if you are to bond.  Though I dare say he has been communicating with you all this time and you have not recognized it for what it is.”

“What is it?  How have we been communicating?”

“You are intelligent enough to already know how, Doctor.  It is better if I do not tell you.  Suffice it to say that K’avir has been telling you that you are all he wants from the time that your alliance began.  Now I must report back to the bridge.  Take what I say under consideration, Dr. Stephens.  Do not hurt him.”

“Aye, Captain.  I won’t.  I couldn’t.”

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