Musings in the Dark: May 2012


Boss Chicks, Volume II; Sistah Sheroes: Misty Knight

Inspired by my last post, I'm going to go on and pay tribute to some badass sistah supersheroes.


Mercedes “Misty” Knight is a former cop for the NYPD who had to leave her profession after she lost her arm in a terrorist attack.  Misty’s arm is replaced with a bionic one created by Stark Industries, but it did not allow her to keep her job.  She and her friend Colleen became private investigators.  They are known as Daughters of the Dragon because of their martial arts skills and general ass-whupping abilities and frequently aid Heroes for Hire, a group put together by one of her lovers, Iron Fist.  But relationships are complicated and Misty doesn’t stay with Fist very long.  However, there are many other things that demand her attention.

There’s so much to like about Misty Knight.  She’s beautiful, brave 
and a total badass.  She and her bestie Colleen are down like four 
flat tires.  There are some new comics featuring the divine Miss 
Knight and I cannot wait to own them.  I’ve never heard of her 
before last year, and now I am going to make it my mission to purchase and read her comics and do more research on this boss 
chick.  And I won't stop there.  There are plenty of other sistah supersheroes that need more exposure. Misty is just the first.


Giving Props...

Since we never truly get any respect, props or credit, may I present to you the utter fabulousness that is Black Female Superheroes.

A couple of friends sent me this link on Facebook and I like to share wonderful goodies like this.  I'm not a comic book fan (I let it go decades ago), but these I'll buy and read.  Perhaps, when my schedule allows, I'll actually be able to read and offer my perspective on these boss chicks.  I'm already a fan of Misty Knight and I've never read her comics.

Ass-kicker extraordinaire

Misty, it is definitely you, baby!!!

*sniff*  I know who I want to be for Halloween...


Book Reviews

Blogger Triple J reviews my debut novel Corruption on Brain Food.

You can follow Triple J on Wordpress.


What's Wrong With This Picture?

I've said before that I'm not a fan of TV.  It is a glut of crap-ass reality shows, unfunny sitcoms, sanitized plots and drama that is about as dramatic as a lamp turning on, IMO.  Rarely do I tune in to anything other than ESPN or the Science Channel.  I'd much rather waste my time examining my toenails for chipped polish than subject my nerves and neurons to watching a show that probably won't make it through the entire season.

Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels this way.  This is a rundown of 17 TV shows that got deep-sixed this week.  I can't even tell you what any of them are about, but I can ask you this:

What do all of these shows have in common (other than the fact that they got the boot)?

Bonus question:  Why do you think these shows got canceled?  Honestly.  Don't talk about low ratings because that's obvious.  I have my opinions but I would LOVE to know what others think.  

An Ode to Cheese (2/5)...

My homage continues.

Frankenfish is based off a real event and also hints at consumer consumption of genetically-engineered salmon.  Science and reality shoved aside (and I do mean shoved), this movie is a treat that can be found on YouTube; which saves a queue-space on Netflix.  The quality is good and the movie even more enjoyable because it’s free.  If you are having 90 minutes of nothingness, check it out. I have the link posted at the end.  Spoilers follow, so be warned.
Sam Rivers, M.E.  Also, he's Black.

Frankenfish deviates from convention by having a black hero and heroine, portrayed by Tory Kittles and K.D. Aubert, respectively.  The movie takes place in the Louisiana Bayou.  Something is attacking some of the residents.  Sam Rivers (played by Kittles; a handsome guy) is a medical examiner sent to investigate the deaths.  Sam and a marine biologist named Mary find their way to a small houseboat community and get stuck there. The residents include a “hoodoo” widow woman and her daughter Eliza (played by Aubert), Eliza’s white boyfriend, a hippie couple, a crazy ex-military type and a noodling fisherman named Elmer.

You know things are going to be interesting when Sam and Mary come upon a decapitated alligator (an uncommon sight, I'm told), but the fun begins when Sam and Mary arrive at the community to interview Gloria, a widow whose husband was retardedly murdered by one of the Fish.  After a dinner of snapping turtle gumbo, during which we find out that Eliza once had a crush on Sam (they went to the same high school), Elmer leads Sam and Mary to an abandoned boat.  Gloria told them that the problems started after the boat was found.  After discovering the mauled bodies in the bilge, Mary knocks Elmer into the water and he’s immediately eaten by one of the Frankenfish.  Sam and Mary hotfoot it back to the community where the Fish promptly destroy all of the boats. Why this happens is never explained, but it doesn’t matter because it’s hilarious.  The Frankenfish do world-class backflips Olympic gymnasts would envy.  They walk on land, and they’re at least the size of a Toyota Prius.

Eliza.  Smart, resourceful...and Black.
The stoner hippie dude is the first one to get fucked up and it happens in royal fashion.  A Frankenfish bites his head off in front of his wife.  She ends up in the water and doesn’t try to save herself.  You want her to get eaten and you’re not disappointed.  The crazy ex-military type, Ricardo (the best friend of Gloria’s dead husband) vowed revenge early on and gets it when he manages to bait and catch the Frankenfish (at this point, they think it’s just the one).  Ricardo kills the Fish and, in an utterly gut-busting scene (pun intended), barbecues and eats the heart of his enemy.  I’ve never seen anybody barbecue a fish heart the size of a Daisy canned ham bare-handed.  Come to think of it, I’ve never seen anyone barbecue a fish heart.  At any rate, the residents think everything is over, but it’s not because the Mama Frankenfish avenges her murdered child.  The Mama jumps on Ricardo’s porch and eats his intestines.  Then, as if to say, “Motherfucker,” she pushes his eviscerated ass into the water.  I nearly choked with glee.

As funny as the above scene is, nothing compares to the death of Mary. After Ricardo dies, his grill falls over and heats up his shotgun. Mary is standing on the end of Gloria’s porch, explaining a way they can escape when the shotgun discharges, shooting her in the face.  

Let me repeat: She gets shot in the face by an unmanned shotgun!

I cannot tell a lie; I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself.  I know tears were in my eyes.  It was the best scene in the entire movie.  After that, everything went downhill.   Mama Frankenfish attacks the houseboats themselves, sinking them.  The remaining residents are able to escape via a group of trackers.  One of them, a game hunter, pulls a dick move by forcing Sam to go after the Mama.  Sam, being a smart fellow, manages to escape with Eliza. It is discovered that the Frankenfish are genetically modified Northern Snakeheads (who apparently can walk on land), bred to be hunted by the game hunter. This fucking guy gets his ass handed to him by the Daddy Frankenfish, who happens to be the size of an Escalade.

The ending is too quick and anticlimactic, but it’s memorable because the last two standing are Sam and Eliza.  Now they do some decidedly non-Black shit by making out afterwards in the swamp while covered in fish brains, but it was a concession I was happy to make. Black folk don't usually survive these adventures.

Don't say I never gave you anything.

Four and three-quarter stars.  The shotgun death-to-the-face alone is totally worth clicking on the YouTube link.

Next:  Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus


Coming to a theater near you...

A recently-engaged martial arts expert refuses 
to join the mafia and is murdered in cold blood.  
It is up to his tenacious bombshell fiancee to unravel 
the mystery behind his death.

BRUCE LEE                       PAM GRIER
 as Dylan                                        as Roxanne
starring in...

Fists of Foxy Brown 
a.k.a. Coffy's Game of Death

Revenge is a motherfucker wearing stilettos.

Based on the book by Javan Nelums.  Directed by Cathy Jean Waters.  
Rated R.


Meeting Denny

Today I had the wonderful opportunity of meeting my brother from another mother; a kindred spirit, a like mind: Mr. Denny Upkins, aka Neo-Prodigy.  He was in Atlanta for Outlantacon, and we agreed to meet at the hotel where he was staying.  Denny is an attractive, personable, handsome man who is exceptionally tall.  I had to stand on my toes to get a good hug.

As we did online, we clicked immediately.  He told me all about Outlantacon, which is a convention for the “Queer Geek.”  We met after the conference ended and sat in the lobby of the hotel, talking about anything and everything.  He shared with me valuable tips about the benefits of attending conventions: networking with authors, publishers and those involved in the craft.  Denny and I believe in linking with those who share the same passion for writing as we do, and who are in the position to help us get our names out there.  Hustling is the name of the game, and I learned very quickly that Denny is a bona-fide hustler.

I know that I’m comfortable with someone when the conversation flows freely between random subjects without pause.  Denny and I covered a myriad of subjects during our brief time together and every second of it was enjoyable.  Rarely do I have the opportunity to schmooze with those of my ilk, and it’s like rain on parched earth.  I now know that Denny is not that far from me, and he comes to Atlanta often enough that I know we’ll hang out again.

Oh yeah, bonus!  I got an actual copy of his wonderful debut novel Hollowstone.  I have it on Kindle, but as I’ve said countless times, I prefer to have an actual book and it pleases me to now be able to enjoy Hollowstone in the way it was meant to be.  Epic win!!!