Musings in the Dark: Feenin' (4/?)


Feenin' (4/?)

K’avir was in Security, supervising the shift change.  His crew checked in and out, giving him perfunctory nods in greeting, used to the fact that he never spoke unless it was necessary.  Since the ISS-E was currently in the middle of a border patrol, he didn’t speak at all.  No one knew that the Security Chief was irritated and frustrated, for his countenance registered nothing except Vulcan calm.  The crew chatted amicably through shift change.  A couple of ladies were talking in low tones so they couldn’t be overheard, but K’avir was Vulcan and could hear things most others couldn’t.

One of the ladies, a dark-haired beauty named Gerri, said, “Nita, you know that new engineer Trish’s hired?  The hot one with the wicked smile?  Julian, I think his name is…”

“Yes,” Nita said.  Nita was equally lovely, as the ISS-E’s previous captain liked having eye candy on board the ship.  “He’s so handsome, such a babe.  Only a matter of time before he has a girlfriend.  He can have his pick.  There’s at least ten women lined up who want to be with him.  Mari in Stellar Cartography has set her cap for him.”

“From what I hear, he’s already made his choice.  Shawn in Medical says he’s been meeting Sheila for lunch since he got here a week ago.”

“No, Gerri!  Really?”

“Shawn says that when Sheila takes her lunch, Julian’s usually there waiting for her.  They go eat in the mess and he walks her back to sickbay.”

Nita nodded, pressing her thumbprint into the PADD in front of K’avir. “Good for Sheila.  I mean, she could use a good man in her life.  She’s so beautiful and talented and it annoys me that all she does is work.  I don’t think she’s even gotten laid since Lenny disappeared, and probably before then.  She could use a man like Julian to woo her.  He could woo me, with his fine self.  I’m easy.  Not as easy as Mari, but close.”

Gerri punched the PADD with her thumb.  “Shawn said that he was on her like butter on toast from day one.  Didn’t even try to hide it; heard he asked Sheila if she was single and has been after her ever since.  He asked Shawn if there were any potential boyfriends hanging around and she told him none that she knew of.  Shawn doesn’t think that Sheila’s given Julian any play other than lunch, but that won’t last.  He’s fine and she’s pretty; I think they’d be cute together.  And he’s insistent, from what Shawn tells me.”

As Nita and Gerri walked off, K’avir closed his eyes, forcing down the lump in his throat.


K’avir normally ate one meal, and it was typically breakfast with the captain to review assignments for the day.  His eating habits were strict, so he never went to the mess unless it was necessary.  Today it was necessary.  He left Security and went to the mess at the time he knew Sheila took her lunch.  People tended to get out of his way when he was seen in the corridors.  Everyone knew who K’avir was and no one dared to do anything that would antagonize him.  Everyone remembered what happened to the men who threatened the captain’s wife.

He stood in the doorway of the mess.  The new crew member could not gain access to the officers’ dining room, so the probability of finding Sheila in the crew cafeteria was 99.89%.  K’avir saw her sitting at a table with another man.  They were laughing and she had a big smile on her face.  K’avir appraised the guy with one dismissive glance and then turned his attention to her.  He was used to seeing Sheila in her medical blues without the jacket.  Everyone knew she was learning to fight and she wore her bruises and bumps with great pride.  She never hid them and it was one of the things that aroused him.  Today, she wore her jacket.  It covered her arms and hid the bruises he knew were there. 

He was not pleased.


Sheila changed into her workout sweats and grabbed a bottle of water and headed to the gym.  It was time to get back into her regular routine.  She’d missed a week of training, not counting the other night, and she felt fat.   She also felt good in the way a woman does when she knows she’s being courted. Julian Matthews made no secret of his fondness for her.  Every day at 1300 hours, he met her for lunch.  He couldn’t get access into the officers’ dining room where the good food was, but that was fine.  She had no business partaking of the rich food there anyway, especially when she wasn’t working out.

She sighed.  She hadn’t seen K’avir in four days and it was deliberate.  The other night, she’d been dangerously close to having sex with him again.  He was so desirable; his magnetism was potent and she really couldn’t resist him.  That was the first night he had come close to anything remotely expressing his needs, and it was his desire to screw her.  Nothing else.  She wished she could be mad about it, but the truth was that she needed him to do it.  Seven days without him…she hadn’t gone that long since before they hooked up.

It irritated her that they were never seen together; that all of their activity was limited to the gym and her bedroom.  Women lusted after K’avir and while Sheila wasn’t jealous, she would have liked for it to be known that the big, sexy security chief was her man.  It would be nice to share a meal every now and then with him in the private dining room or at least be seen walking around together.  It would be comforting to know that she was more than a piece of ass to him.  Even if that were the case, she wasn’t going to let it bother her tonight.  Sheila was aroused; her period was nearing and she always got crazy horny right before it showed up.  She needed some serious sexual maintenance.  If K’avir was up to it, if he was anything like he was the other night, then they could give up the pretense of having a combat lesson and go straight to the banging.  She wouldn’t run from him tonight.  She needed to get bent over.

Sheila entered the gym.  He stood over by the wall, and to her utter dismay, he was bare-chested.  She stared at him and shook her head.  They were fucking tonight.  Of that she was sure.  Her pussy wanted to drop to the floor and crawl over to him.  He was so damn beautiful.

 ‘I still get weak-kneed at the sight of him,’   she thought.   ‘He’s like art, a sculpture… I’m not even going to pretend that I don’t want him, that I don’t want to fuck him.  I need him; I need him to take care of me…’

He held two swords.  Sheila blinked, realizing it.  So there was no choice tonight.

“I am disappointed in you, Dr. Stephens.  Seven days without a lesson.”

“I tried to have a lesson the other night, but you got distracted, you jerk.”

“Nevertheless,” he continued, “it is time for you to learn how to use a sword.”

“I think I’m skilled enough in all the forms of combat the captain wants me to have, K’avir.”

“That you are,” he replied.  “But you are my student and you have not mastered   anything.”

She bristled, thinking that she’d mastered a few things when it came to intimate matters, including the most effective way to get him off.  “I forget what an asshole you are at times.”

“You also forget,” he said, throwing the sword at her feet, “that I am your opponent.”

His tone was harsh, colder than normal.  Was he mad at her?  She could never read anything from his expression.

“Are you all right, K’avir?  Are you mad at me or something?”

“If you mean, am I displeased with you, I am.  You were once a faithful apprentice and you never missed a lesson.  I expect more disciplined behavior from my students.  Commander Baker and Commander Moreau do not miss their scheduled lessons.  I daresay that Commander Baker has surpassed you in her use of the staff and of the ahn-woon.”

Sheila blinked, getting mad.  He didn’t go there!   “You forget, K’avir, that you don’t give them the training that you give me.  You don’t hit them and you make it easy for them to surpass me, you trifling piece of shit!  You’re mad at me because I wouldn’t give you any pussy the other night!”

“Mad implies underlying emotion, Doctor.  I am not upset about that at all.  I am merely disappointed in your lack of consistency as of late.  You are seven days behind in your training and I fear I must work you twice as hard to catch you up.  Pick up your sword.”

If he meant to piss her off, he succeeded.  “Motherfucker!” she hissed. She picked up the sword and removed the sheath.  It was beautiful, highly polished silver and she wanted to cut his head off with it.  Bastard!!

“This is a katana, right?” she asked, marveling in the beauty of the curved blade.

“No,” he said.  “This is a tachi.  It has a greater arc and is two point five centimeters longer than a katana.  However, many swordplay enthusiasts believe that the difference between the two is how they are secured against the body.  Now,” he said, spearing her with the amber daggers that were his eyes, “show me what you can do with it.”

Sheila closed her eyes and gripped the handle.  She stepped away from K’avir and practiced swinging it, getting a feel for its weight.  She already knew it was perfectly balanced; K’avir’s arsenal of weapons was of high caliber and created by masters of the craft.  Her training with the lirpa would be beneficial here.  She would have to make adjustments, but she could do it.  She was furious with him.

Then she stood before him, about eight feet away, holding the tachi with both hands in the parallel ready stance.

“Block my move,” he instructed.  “I will start slow because I know that you are a novice, but I expect for you to increase your speed, Dr. Stephens.”

Each word was a knife in the soul and she was determined that he would bleed, the pompous bastard.  Maybe he wouldn’t get any pussy.  “Fine.”

He came at her swinging his tachi with one arm.  She blocked; it took both of hers to balance the weight.  He spun and swung in the other direction; she turned and blocked.  He turned again, swinging, and she managed to get the blade up in time.  Then he swept her feet and she crashed to the mat and the tachi slid out of her hand.

“A poor effort, Doctor,” he said.

Sheila popped up and went for her sword.  “You’re a dick, K’avir!  You’re being a jerk tonight!  Is this what you’re like when you can’t get your way?  Spoiled little bastard!”

“I am merely acknowledging that your efforts are pathetic.”

She blinked, keeping her rage down.  “Asshole!”  Then she turned and squared off again.  K’avir came at her swinging— hard, she realized—and she moved instinctively.  She realized that she had to; he was going to keep his word and work her tonight.

The sword felt good in her hands, as if it was made for her.  It was a good thing because he came at her every minute swinging his own and he was using way more strength than he normally did.  She was having a hard time keeping up with him, but Sheila refused to back down.  She was getting tired; it had been a long day, and from the looks of her Vulcan lover, it would be an even longer night.  She fought him valiantly, moving instinctively as she had been taught.  She understood that all he wanted was to see what innate skill she had before he started teaching her proper technique.  K’avir put her on the mat once a minute and stood over her as she got to her feet.  Sheila was convinced that he was trying to get back at her for running out on him the other night and it pissed her off.  She never thought he’d be a vindictive type, but he was working the hell out of her.  To her credit, she got back up each time, even more tired than the last.

“Are you tired, Doctor?”

“No,” she hissed.  She was exhausted but furious enough to keep trying.  She was going to cut him before the night was over.  She didn’t even know how much time had passed since the lesson began, but she knew it had to end soon.  Her arms hurt.

“I believe you are not being truthful with me,” he said, his eyes shining.

Sheila yelled and ran at him, swinging her tachi with everything she had.  K’avir sidestepped her and blocked her blow.  She turned around to swing in the other direction, screaming.  He plucked her sword out of her hands and the blade cut his fingers.  K’avir pushed her away.

“Lost your sword, Doctor?  I dare say your opponent would relish the opportunity to remove your clothing with his own sword.”

“That what you want?” she hissed.  “Well, you’re going to have to do better than this if you want to get me naked, K’avir.  You’re going to have to earn this pussy tonight if you really want it.”

He stared at her, eyes roaming over her body.  He knew she was tired.  He had been working her for well over an hour and he knew from the sheer number of times he put her on the mat or knocked her away, that she would be bruised all over and some she would not be able to hide.  Her challenge made his blood boil. He took a deep breath to keep from getting an erection, but it was difficult.  He wanted it, wanted her, and wanted everything she had. 

Sheila went to get her sword.  She moved slowly, knowing that she was going to be so sore and so stiff tomorrow that she was going to spend her shift at her desk.  Then she turned to face him and bravely held the tachi out towards him. If he wanted to talk shit, she could do it just as well.

“You want this pussy, K’avir?  I know you do.  I know you can smell it and I know what it does to you.  If you want it, then come on.  I’m not giving   you anything, you bastard.  If you’re bad enough and man enough to step to me, and Vulcan enough to try me, then you come on over here and take it.  And be ready to get shanked!”

“You play a dangerous game, Sheila,” he said, staring at her, his eyes hooded with lust.  He couldn’t keep his desire for her at bay.  He didn’t want to. 

“I’m not playing, baby,” she said.  “I mean every word I say.  You’ve been working me like a dog since I got here just because I wouldn’t give you any the other night.  I didn’t think you were that trifling, but I guess I was wrong.  You’re a spoiled little boy; you throw a tantrum just like one when you can’t have your way.”

“You are being hypocritical, Sheila,” he said, moving towards her.  “You wanted me and then you changed your mind at the last moment.  Your behavior is illogical.   You know that I want you and I know that you want me, so I do not understand why you are choosing to deny it.  I do not like it when you keep yourself from me.  I would rather you not play with me in this manner.”

“Do I look like I’m playing, K’avir?”

“Then let us dispense with the conversation, shall we?  I will meet your challenge and I will have you when this is done.”

She got hot all over and desperately tried to keep it from him.  “You assume much, baby.”

He came at her, moving rapidly.  Sheila brought up her blade to block him, but he was so quick and so smooth that when he turned, his blade sliced her bicep.  She cried out and dropped her sword.  Immediately, K’avir was by her side, holding her injured arm.  The cut was deep, and it was bleeding badly. He stared at it.

“Thanks a lot, you prick,” she snapped.  “Give me something to wrap it with until I can get to sickbay.”

He brought her towel and water bottle.  K’avir dumped the water on the towel and pressed it against her arm.  She winced.  “That’s enough for tonight, K’avir.  I’m exhausted.”  She moved away from him and held the towel against her bleeding bicep, taking large, deep breaths.  Her arm throbbed.

“I did not mean to injure you, Sheila,” he said.  He tried to touch her.

“I’m all right, K’avir.  This is no different from the other bruises I get.  I earned this one from swordplay.  It’s kind of sexy when you think about it.” 

“Nevertheless,” he continued, still trying to touch her. “I did not intend to break your skin.”

“K’avir, it’s okay.  Lenny broke my skin repeatedly.  I’m a big girl.  I can take this little scratch.”

Sheila turned away from him and started walking out, carefully keeping the compress against her bicep.  She sighed, thinking she might have to take the day off to heal up, as the cut was deep enough to inhibit the use of her arm.   Some of her hair had escaped its topknot.  She was limping and there were bruises already manifesting on the backs of her arms, thighs and calves.  And she was bleeding.  K’avir watched her leave, his breathing becoming deep and rapid.  He was so hard that he thought it might hurt him to walk.  He was overwhelmed with desire; it was in his eyes, his mind, and his heart.  He was so horny for Sheila that he was trembling.


  1. Rashida: The chick is playing with fire. The only thing K'avir is thinking is "Oh...oh Sheila, let me love you to the mornin' comes'..anybody know the group that sings this?
    I personally think that she is too hard on him.

  2. Hey Rashida! I see you've figured it out!

    Girl, you talkin' 'bout Ready For The World...those jheri-curl havin' bruhs from the late 80s! But "Oh Sheila," was the jam!

    When I was trying to come up with a title for this particular piece, I was drowning myself in Jodeci's Diary of a Mad Band. "Feenin'" is the best song on that album, and every time I hear DeVante's & JoJo's opening lines, I think of K'avir's feelings for Sheila:

    DeVante: Hit me/All the chronic in the world can't even mess with you/You're the ultimate high/Know what I'm sayin' baby/Now check this out...

    JoJo: Take my money/My house and my car/For one hit of you/You can have it all, baby/'Cause makin' love/every time we do/Girl it's worse than drugs/'Cause I'm an addict of you...

    Chorus: I can't leave you alone/You got me feenin'...

    I just took myself back to the mid-1990s. Yeah, baby! Y'all can come on back with me if you want!

    *goes off to get Jodeci CD*

  3. Rashida: Yeah...that's IT! Jodeci!! I so STUUUPPIDD!!

    Speaking of stupid..I am barely figuring this blog thingie out!! Now, I hope I can post more frequently,...mwhhhaaaahhh!!!!


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