Update

I’ve been extremely busy for the past couple of months with work, and now—just like the rest of the world—am quarantined and doing distance learning from home.  How do I feel about it?  I’m good.  I’m an introvert anyway and know how to be at home for days on end and not be bored.  I’ve got books and movies lined up to read and watch, I have some new LEGO sets, and I can catch up on my blogging and writing.  

Of course, now that I have time to write, the Muse is not speaking to me.  I guess after completing Switchblade Romance, which took 8 months to write, she needed a break.  It is what it is.

I am excited to announce that (pending everything goes well) I will be relocating to Africa in the fall.  I am excited to start the next level of my expat journey in Dakar, Senegal.  I did not see this coming, as I had planned to stay in Asia for the next five or so years.  There are still countries I haven’t visited yet, such as Japan, Korea, Malaysia and Vietnam.  Actually, I was supposed to go to Kuala Lumpur during Spring Break, but #DatRona hit and fucked up all my travel plans.  

But anyway, I was approached last fall and offered an opportunity that I would have been a fool to reject. I will have fewer preps and the benefits package is nice.  Also, I will finally be working alongside other black people.  That is a significant benefit, as I am tired of being the only one. Also, I will be able to travel to other African countries, and Egypt is the first country I’m gonna hit.  Europe is only 4 hours away.  Doable.  Pending everything goes well.

I haven’t been to the movies since last fall.  Nothing has dropped that I wanted to go see and review, and with #DatRona out, there won’t be any movie-going anytime soon.  Good thing I got NF and my online movie sites.

Y’all stay safe out there.

Musings in the Rain

So no…I haven’t exactly kept to the writing schedule I laid down in January.  But I have been writing.  I’ve been working on another chapter of the Astronomy Series, but most of what I wrote won’t get posted on the Shorties blog because it’s more of an intermediate step between what’s already out there and what I want the next phase to be.  I need to fill in the blanks and tell myself what happens first.  

The world as a whole has gotten a lot more intricate and bigger, with additional characters and situations revealing themselves. I didn’t expect this and I’m not sure how it’s all going to pan out.  As I said in the introduction to the story, it was an adult retelling of a shortie I wrote a long, long time ago, so everything that takes place after “Intergalactic” is new.

The Expat Diaries; Volume III: Indonesia

So I’ve been in Indonesia for two whole months.  My shipment still hasn’t arrived (Saudi service sucks), so I’m not 100% where I need to be in terms of my headspace.  But I’m doing all right.  I like my job and I live five minutes away from it in a nice house.  I’ve never worked near my job, so to be able to hop in the car and be at work in under five is every damn thing.

Update

Well I’ve relocated back to the Far East; Indonesia to be specific.  Life has been crazy these past few weeks.  Moving as an expat can be ridiculously stressful.  You don’t feel at home until your shipment arrives (if you have one).  I’ve accepted it as part of my existence as an expatriate that I will always have a shipment every time I move.  It’s really hard to call one’s residence a home when it’s devoid of personality.  Fortunately, my shipment should arrive in about four weeks.

The city where I live has no stop signs or traffic lights in the suburban areas.  Therefore, traffic is utterly ridiculous.  There are these random guys who will go out and direct traffic with the expectation that you’ll grease their palms when they allow you out into the street.  A trip that should theoretically take 10 minutes takes up to 45 most days.

2015—It’s A Wrap!!!

This past year has probably been the most eventful of all in terms of new experiences.  I started a new job in a new country, but more importantly, I traveled to Hong Kong, Bangkok, Phuket, Taipei, Manama, Limassol, Rome, and Milan.  An entry in The Expat Diaries is coming very soon.

You hope that each year brings more experience, understanding and wisdom.  For me, it also brings a bit more patience.  I have learned to accept that certain things take time and that one must be in a particular place (mentally, spiritually, and emotionally) in order for said things to happen.  You have to be able to reflect and that has become valuable over the past five years.  Living in Riyadh forces a woman to learn patience, and because things move so slowly over here, there is time to think certain things through.

A Story to Tell

It’s been over a month since I last posted, and probably over a year since I posted something like this.  My new life as an expat has its challenges, and said challenges have kept me away from my writing as a necessity.  But since writing is probably more a part of me than my career choice, you can probably imagine the slow metaphorical death I’m undergoing.  Living in the Kingdom is especially challenging in so many ways.  The only way I can deal with it is to (1) focus on my kids and (2) travel as often as possible.

I’ve said before that I’m living my dream.   As I write this, I am sitting in a lovely hotel in Rome, Italy.  I’m a block from the Piazza del Popolo and maybe 15 minutes from Vatican City.  Italy is and always has been #1 on the bucket list; the first place I wanted to travel to when I was a child.  Momma gave me a globe and I picked out the boot and said I wanted to try it on.

But then my life took a turn—as life does—and Italy became a dream, a mirage.  I spent 20 years of my life as a caregiver and caretaker to my parents.  I watched my friends go out, have fun, date, fall in love, get married, have babies, etc.  My life was different: countless hospital visits, learning how to distribute medicines, understanding the effects of ravaging diseases, surgeries upon surgeries, all while working (and later, going to graduate school).  I had minimal help.  I tried to date, but it was too much.  I knew my parents wanted me to have that life but between caring for them and working, I had no time for myself, and that included self-care.  At this time, I was undiagnosed, so my emotions swung like a pendulum. 

When Reality Hits...

When I was researching information about my current destination, I found a lot of blogs that described this place as relatively okay for women, as long as they're aware of the rules and restrictions.  The emphasis was placed mainly on hobbies and activities, as this part of the world is severely lacking in entertainment and a lot of women are here as trailing spouses for hubbies who work for the oil companies (and thus, don't have to work).  A lot of this info loosely translated to single women, but at the time, I could not find any definitive information on what life is like for singletons.

Here is the pure, unadulterated truth...and if I'd come across this information in my research, my decision to come here would have been quite different.

1.  Western women are assumed to be whores and will accept any man's advances, be they wanted or not.  A man actually said to me, "You're American and you're a woman...why not?"

So This Happened...

I haven't been blogging much for the past couple of months for several reasons.  The main reason is because I've been super-busy at work and going through the motions of making another significant life change.  It left me with little time for writing and blogging, which I dearly miss and desperately need to unload through to rid myself of these random emotions.  I neeeeeed to write a shortie.  Somebody toss me a prompt.

My time in Shanghai is coming to an end.  I didn't think it would be ending as soon as it is, but life never quite works out the way we plan.  Either way, I've had a blast living in this amazing city and having the adventures that I've had.  There is so much to love about this beautiful, vibrant city and the wonderful natives who inhabit it. I will be quite sad on the long flight home, but satisfied at the things I accomplished.

2014: It's A Wrap!!!

I've been blogging for five years.  Noob reminded me of this recently and I had to take a step back and reflect.  Five years ago, I was an undiagnosed mess of turmoil, grief and rage.

Two years ago, I was sitting in my Atlanta home, infuriated with the lack of progress I was making towards completing my degree.  I didn’t have a job and was battling a bout of tendonitis in my right hand after spending six weeks entering numeric data into Excel.  I’d actively taken steps to move abroad but nothing was panning out and I was unbelievably frustrated.  I was unhappy, unhealthy, lonely, and I felt like everything was against me.

Fast forward to now.  I live in Shanghai; a city of 26 million people.  My educational pursuits are now directly related to professional development.  I have a job that I love, and the absolute freedom to do whatever the hell I want.  I don't think I've ever been as happy or as content as I am right now. Sometimes I can’t believe it; that I really am back in my little house and dreaming about being an expat instead of actually being an expat.

Update

So much has been going on these past few months.  I’ve been swamped up to my eyeballs with work, and there’s other stuff happening.  I haven’t had the freedom to create or think or write, and it’s really starting to work my nerves that I don’t have access to that outlet. 

There’s so much to say, to express, to comment on, to vent about.  I don’t even know where to start or even if I can start.  I will say this: being removed from all of the headlines and whatnot is a relief sometimes.  I don’t ever really know what’s going on unless I log into FaceBook & Twitter.  Sometimes, I deliberately stay away from social media because I can’t always handle the news as it comes.  Stories about babies dying in cars, child abuse, the #Gamergate bullshit, motherfuckers looking to rationalize rape, and most recently, #Ferguson…it can be too much.  So it is nice to not have to know everything.  Emotional distance is a good thing to have.  

Besides, getting through the rest of this SY is going to take every bit of emotional energy I have.  I’ve found myself in a situation I didn’t foresee, and I’ve now got decisions to make.  I am getting better at what I do, and that has been nothing but a bonus.  Change is good, but it’s also annoying as fuck.  But I know that things will work out for the best, because they usually do.  

At any rate, I’m just checking in to let y’all know that I’m still alive and still kicking.  I will hopefully have some news on the creative front soon enough; Nightingales: cool air is just about finished, and hopefully I can get back to working on the revisions for Tainted soon enough.  Just have to see how all of this plays out.

Year One Complete

*crossposted on Black Girl Nerds and The Blasian Narrative*

I just finished my first year abroad.  I would say that I can’t believe that a year has passed, but that wouldn’t be true.  I can believe it.  I’ve just experienced it.  I’d like to share a little bit with you.

What’s it like in this part of the world?  Well, I can tell you this: I get stared at A LOT, and the natives sneak pictures of me on the sly.  Sometimes, the stares come with smiles, other times, it’s just outright shock.  This is typical for a lot of the older Chinese, as many of them may never have laid eyes on a black person before.  I always smile and say hello, because if I am their first, I need it to be a positive experience. 

Update

It's been almost six weeks since I last posted.  So much has happened and I've been super-busy with work.  The institute where I am employed sends its students on week-long field trips out into various countryside provinces.  The point is for them to experience the real China up close and personal.  

I was a chaperone on one of these trips and lawd, I wasn't ready for the excessive amount of walking that takes place (and this was supposed to be the "easy" trip).  I never claimed to be in shape, but if this is going to be a yearly thing, then I best get my workout game up.

And then, a completely unexpected thing happened...which you can read about on The Blasian Narrative.  I'm still getting my head around said event...and its eerie sorta-kinda parallel to my novel, Corruption.  

In two weeks, the school year will be over and I will finally have time to get back to regular updates.  Nothing is as time-consuming as August and June when it comes to the lives of educators.

The Dream is Real

A couple of weeks ago, Ankh and I were exchanging emails and she mentioned that she finally landed a gig she’s been wanting for a long time, in a location that she always wanted to be.  She then went on to gush about how she spends her free time doing the things she loves, and then she said, “I’m living my dream.”

I acknowledged how proud I was of her, and then also shared that I, too, was living my dream.  I’m an expat with a doctorate, and I am a published author.  I have a job that I love, and while I am not currently living in the part of the world where I always saw myself, I do know that I’ll get there one day.  That I even made it to Asia is a testament to my faith in God and my penchant for pensive persistence. 

When Love Becomes a Liability

Liability: a person or thing whose presence or behavior is likely to cause embarrassment or put one at a disadvantage. Source: Google.

Last year, I wrote a post called The Jump-Off, which was about the futility of being the other woman. In said post, I referenced the hit TV show Scandal, which at the time I didn’t watch because I didn’t like the idea of a sistah being a white man’s side dish. I didn't give a damn that he was the POTUS.

Fast forward eight months. After spending the holidays with my bff, who is a diehard Scandal fan, I’m now caught up on all 2.5 seasons of the show. I enjoyed everything not Olitz-related. In fact, I rolled my eyes and fast-forwarded through every "tender" scene they had together (which my bff thought was hilarious).

I don’t understand their relationship. I don’t believe their love. In fact, I need someone to explain to me just why he loves her and why she loves him. Clearly, they like fucking and Fitz clearly enjoys eating the chocolate, but good sex and bomb head do not a relationship make. He orders her about, stalks her, and obsesses over her…this is NOT love, people. Check the DSM-IV if you need confirmation. Fitz throws Olivia under the bus every chance he gets and she runs off like a kicked puppy to lick her wounds…until he does something to get her back. And to be honest with you…what he does isn’t worth much; it takes absolutely no effort on Fitz’s part to win Olivia back. “Earn me” indeed. She must not cost much.

Brave New World

I’m not sure how brave this new world is, but it’s definitely new.  Everything is different, as it should be.  I live in a large expatriate community that caters to Western sensibilities.  Stores import Western foods, and as a result, they are expensive.  I don’t care; some things I just have to have.  Doritos made over here do not taste like Doritos back home.  There is a Coca-Cola plant not far from where I live, and the Cokes, while delicious, don’t taste exactly the same as Coke from the States.  I can’t say whether the taste is good or bad; it’s just different.

The people I work with and live with are friendly and accommodating.  Since they’ve become my extended family by default, this is a good thing.  My new home is a small apartment high above the city, and it’s perfect.  I have not set about decorating just yet, as I’m waiting on my first payday.  I’m the sort who decorates room by room, and since we’re not allowed to paint, that sends me in a different direction.  I like bold, vibrant colors, and I am fortunate to have a solarium just off my bedroom.  It will become my reading room and haven.  It looks out over the city and I can’t wait to furnish it.

Touchdown!

So I've been in Asia for a week and all I can say is that I'm exhausted.  It's so hot where I am, but I'll adjust.  My new home is adorable and big enough for one person.  All of the appliances are a good 1/3 the size of the appliances Americans are used to.  That'll be an adjustment, as over here, they grocery shop a couple of times per week, and the portions are small (or rather, standard size; us Americans like everything big).  A grocery store is about two blocks from my complex, and I've already hit it about five times.  There is a fruit vendor on the corner and his fruit is sooooo good.  He's got a nice variety: citrus, apples, watermelons, fat grapes, pears, and kiwi fruit.  And it's cheap.  Meat?  Not so much.  But I found the bacon, so I'm good.

Anyway, I'm adjusting very well; even to this ridiculous Satan's living-room-like heat.  Obviously, there will be very little time for fanfic updates and the like.  I expect to hit a rhythm sometime in September, but I'll keep you guys posted.

Tee Minus

At the time of this writing, I have less than 12 hours before I embark on my life-altering journey.  I have no clear sense of what I’m feeling.  There is excitement with a side of exhilaration, sprinkled with just a bit of fear, and a basket of warm pleasant anxiety served alongside a supersized glass of thank you Jesus.  I’m ready for this.  I promise you that I’m ready for this.  There is something amazing awaiting me overseas that I could never have found here (and it ain’t a man, in case you’re wondering).  It’s a genuine opportunity to have a different life; to actually live in a city where I don’t have to drive everywhere.  I hate driving.   Atlanta traffic is some straight-up bullshit and I’m not here for it.  It’s one of many, many reasons why I’ve been a veritable recluse for the past 15 years. The last thing I want to do when I get home from work is to put a bra back on to go drive somewhere interesting.  Chile, I’d rather stay at home and swing low.

Winding Down

So I’ve got less than twenty days before I blow this popsicle stand, and understandably, I’m very excited.  For the past few weeks, time slowed to a veritable crawl, where I was literally passing the time with absolutely nothing to do except watch The X-Files.  For someone who’s always had something to do, not having anything to do nearly drove me batshit.

But that’s no longer the case now.  I’m currently working on inventorying the boxes that I plan to have shipped later.  Customs requires a detailed list of all contents in addition to the airbill, and since I’m shipping a random variety of things, it took some time to get the inventory complete.  Also, I’ve been able to visit with some friends and acquaintances who I might not have the chance to see again before I leave, and that’s been fun.

…and That Time is Now.

Last October, I wrote a post lamenting the fact that the plans I made for fall 2012 didn’t pan out.  I was sad and frustrated, because I felt like I deserved to have things work out after waiting for soooooo loooooooooong.  But instead, the job I thought I wanted—a virtual school instructor—fell through, and instead of graduating August of 2012, things got delayed because my major professor pulled a stunt. 

So there I was, jobless and still in school, slaving over data analysis and the completion of my dissertation.  Fortunately, my brother moved in and paid the bills as they related to the house, but it didn’t cover the things I did for myself in terms of pampering.  It was a sacrifice of the highest order, as I’ve worked steadily since age 19.

As an educator, jobs come available at certain times, so fall came and went, as did winter.  I worked on finishing school, as that was all I had to do other than write my novels.  The phone remained silent and I was terrified that I’d be stuck having to take a job at yet another public school.  I will not elaborate on why that terrified me, but y’all ain’t stupid.  Three weeks ago, I successfully defended my dissertation and the very next day, I got an email from the principal of a school in Asia, asking me if we could Skype; he was interested in my educational profile.  Things went extremely well, and two interviews and ten days later, they offered me the job.

So...I’m moving to Asia to teach at a posh private school.

The Futility of Commitment

I haven’t done a post like this in quite some time, but it doesn’t mean that I haven’t had anything to say in regards to women and relationships.  There’s been a lot going on, and I’ve had the misfortune to be front row and center.

Relationships are hard.  Whether one is married or committed in another way, it’s damned hard, and having kids complicates matters exponentially.  Too many women I know have experienced the dissolution of their relationships within the past year, and the SO’s modus operandi appears to be the same:

“I don’t want this relationship anymore.”

“I’m tired of being married.”

“I need to go find my happiness elsewhere.”

“I’m ready to move on.”

And with each instance, the woman is devastated by the news.  For three of them, it was out of the blue, and for the fourth one…it’s been going on for a smooth eight years; he’s just been keeping her in limbo.