Musings in the Dark: When Love Becomes a Liability

1/10/2014

When Love Becomes a Liability


Liability: a person or thing whose presence or behavior is likely to cause embarrassment or put one at a disadvantage. Source: Google.

Last year, I wrote a post called The Jump-Off, which was about the futility of being the other woman. In said post, I referenced the hit TV show Scandal, which at the time I didn’t watch because I didn’t like the idea of a sistah being a white man’s side dish. I didn't give a damn that he was the POTUS.

Fast forward eight months. After spending the holidays with my bff, who is a diehard Scandal fan, I’m now caught up on all 2.5 seasons of the show. I enjoyed everything not Olitz-related. In fact, I rolled my eyes and fast-forwarded through every "tender" scene they had together (which my bff thought was hilarious).

I don’t understand their relationship. I don’t believe their love. In fact, I need someone to explain to me just why he loves her and why she loves him. Clearly, they like fucking and Fitz clearly enjoys eating the chocolate, but good sex and bomb head do not a relationship make. He orders her about, stalks her, and obsesses over her…this is NOT love, people. Check the DSM-IV if you need confirmation. Fitz throws Olivia under the bus every chance he gets and she runs off like a kicked puppy to lick her wounds…until he does something to get her back. And to be honest with you…what he does isn’t worth much; it takes absolutely no effort on Fitz’s part to win Olivia back. “Earn me” indeed. She must not cost much.

What took me to the next level and inspired this post is when Olivia turned down a marriage proposal to a decent man to wait for Fitz to divorce his wife…and Fitz changed his mind about the whole thing just because he found out he didn’t actually win the presidency. Ten months passed and as soon as the opportunity arose, they’re back at it.

Ten months. That’s two months shy of a year.

TEN GYATDAMB MONTHS!!!!

Why didn’t she move on? What in the utter HELL was that about? Ten months is a long damn time to nurse a broken heart, and considering how many times that man hurt her, tore her heart, made her cry….alladatish that goes with relationships…I find it amazing that she never got over his privileged, clueless ass. You can get over a broken heart in far less time than 10 months that if you’re determined to do so. What was it about that possessive, jealous asshole that captivated her so much that she didn't even try? Chile, could not be me.

This is a woman is who is brilliant in every aspect of her life except for her choices in men. This isn’t an isolated flaw, either. We all know women who keep their shit together through all kinds of foolishness, but will lose it all over a fuckboy…and you can’t understand the why or how. Olivia spends her nights alone, she’s always sad, and she refuses to date. Shonda Rhimes would have us believe that this woman couldn’t pull a worthy, available man who would treat her right during that time span? You mean to tell me a year passed and her love life remained frozen in time? Shittin me. I mean, Edison was ready to wife her TWICE, and she would have said yes the second time until Fitz gave her false hope.

*Side note: Papa Pope, played to perfection by Joe Motherfuckin’ Morton, hit the nail on the head when he roared, “He told you that you would be First Lady…and YOU BELIEVED HIM!!!” Papa Pope is the sole reason I sat down and watched the show.

In all fairness, Olivia tells Edison that she wants a devastating, painful, life-altering love. I get that. But what I can’t understand is why this accomplished woman feels she can’t have that with any man other than Fitz. Maybe deep in her heart, she thinks she doesn’t deserve any better.

**Second side note: Olivia had zilcho chemistry with Edison. I understand they needed an actor with a certain gravitas to play a character who’s a senator and the president pro tem…but you mean to tell me that they couldn’t find a bruh who could make sparks fly [Columbus Short in that role? She’d have wifed him QUICK!!!!]? But I digress.

Now before you go saying, “It’s a TV SHOW; it’s just fiction, you’re reading too much into it,” let me just say that art imitates life, and real art comes from pain.

Liability: a person or thing whose presence or behavior is likely to cause embarrassment or put one at a disadvantage.

I paid A LOT for my peace of mind, and I’ll pay even more to keep it. And I absolutely will not allow anyone in my life that could potentially disrupt it. Love isn’t supposed to hurt, and anyone who really loves you will put your needs above theirs. I haven’t seen Fitz do this shit yet and I’ve studied the episodes closely, except the scenes when they’re fucking or talking that love bullshit. I’ve seen Olivia do this, but I haven’t seen it reciprocated. Fitz has fucked with Olivia’s image, business, reputation…and most importantly, her revenue stream. She didn’t do anything except get his ass to the highest office in the land. Somehow the two just don’t balance out. I don’t care that the election was rigged…the point is that she committed a crime just to put him in the White House.

Fitz is a liability in every aspect of the word and I simply do not understand why Olivia hasn’t woman’d up and cut his fuckboy ass loose. She spends a good 50% of the show drinking wine and looking like she’s about to erupt into tears. Depression much? The hell I’ll ever let a man bring me that low for that long.

Didn’t I raise you for better? Do you have to be so mediocre?

Apparently not, and apparently so. Until this woman grows a damn spine and tells Fitz to drink bleach and chew steel…or at least to fuck off…this show will remain extremely problematic for me. I don’t understand any woman who willingly keeps a man around who is a liability.*

*I’m not referencing women in abusive relationships who are afraid to leave.

12 comments:

  1. I've also avoided watching Scandal for the reason you stated. Maybe I'll try your fast forward method to avoid those scenes.

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  2. I have shared your feelings for some time but rail at the use of the word "love" to even describe any aspect of the Fitz/Olivia relationship. Papa Pope wry succinctly summed up what's in it for Fitz this season and I really love how that monologue laid into all of Fitz's problems/issues/hot messiness. Olivia, in my humble opinion, has daddy issues (note Fitz's age compared to hers) and Fitz is her channel for dealing with them. Which is just as problematic

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  3. Papa Pope read Fitz for filth and was spot-on in his analysis. Olivia does have daddy issues, and I agree with you in that Fitz is her outlet. It is a damn shame she refuses to find another one.

    What they have is most definitely not love. It's the antithesis of that.

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  4. I completely agree with you! I never understood how anyone could find the Fitz/Pope relationship ideal at all. He abuses her, uses her, stalks her, and is overly obsessive. ANd Liv could easily find another man who can treat her better and love her. Heck, she freaked when Jake was watching her but let Fitz off easy. I really hope they don't end up together and she finds aspine, as you said, and cut that pig loose. ANd now I feel as if there are more shows that are trying to follow in this narrative of successful woman who can't leave the married men alone (Being Mary Jane). Thank you for this post!

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  5. PREACH. Yes. I got how they got together and I bought their little romance for a few episodes and then I was like...okay he's kind of an asshole. Time to move on. In a way I am glad she didn't move on with Edison though because she clearly just wasn't that into him, but damn even if she is going to be single, I'd like to see a happy single black woman. A happy healthy black woman period. Why is that such unchartered territory?

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  6. Damn it, R.E.J.J....that's gonna be my next post!!! Why can't we have a show with a happily single sistah protagonist? I'd watch the hell out of a show like that!!!

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  7. It's not to be an ideal relationship. Shows a powerful, beautiful, successful woman who is somehow deeply flawed. That said, I want to tell the writers, "yeah okay, I get it, can Olivia move ON now?" At some point the woman has to grow.

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    1. ...can Olivia move ON now?" At some point the woman has to grow.

      THANK YOU! Is all I'm sayin'. When she told Cyrus, "I've been replaying that last conversation over and over in my head..." I was like, "FOR TEN MONTHS???? GURL BYE!"

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  8. So on point. They're together to make the show more sensational AND because we don't get to see Black women and men having strong, sexy, mature relationships on television. I watch Scandal but I do have to ff through that ridiculous relationship. I am encouraged by the addition of some more Black folks to the cast - I do think it's a well written show for what it is - and am quietly hoping that this year, we'll get to see some realish Black women on TV!

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  9. Very well written article. No arguement here. I loved your analysis. Each time theres an intimate scene, i cringed. Why don't she link up w/ Jake or "Stomp the Yard?"The Cosby's wasn't too bad of a show afterall?? sigh, wishful thinking....

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  10. Totally co-sign what everybody's saying.

    Just wanted to mention that I love what you've done with the place.

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    Replies
    1. You ain't shit, but I love you anyway.

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