Musings in the Dark: Musings in the Rain


Musings in the Rain

So no…I haven’t exactly kept to the writing schedule I laid down in January.  But I have been writing.  I’ve been working on another chapter of the Astronomy Series, but most of what I wrote won’t get posted on the Shorties blog because it’s more of an intermediate step between what’s already out there and what I want the next phase to be.  I need to fill in the blanks and tell myself what happens first.  

The world as a whole has gotten a lot more intricate and bigger, with additional characters and situations revealing themselves. I didn’t expect this and I’m not sure how it’s all going to pan out.  As I said in the introduction to the story, it was an adult retelling of a shortie I wrote a long, long time ago, so everything that takes place after “Intergalactic” is new.

I’ve been in a reflective mood for the past several months, if not year.  I’m on the second year of my contract in Indonesia and I signed on for another year to get more specialized work experience.  I’m learning so much at my current job and the only reasons I won’t stay past a third year are financial and medical.  The currency rate of the rupiah is weak as fuck compared to the dollar and I lose money when I deposit my check into my American account.  And lately, I’ve started having significant issues with obtaining my meds.  Going to the doctor here is stressful as all hell and then some of the medicine has the absolute audacity to be expensive and makes me gain weight.  I'm struggling with this. *sigh*  I didn’t have these problems in Saudi or China. 

Anyway, I digress. I don’t know if I want to continue teaching but I do want to continue to live abroad.  I want to stay in education, but I do not know what else I want to do or can do.  The ideal situation would be to become a consultant, but to do that requires a level of expertise and specialization in a particular area in order to market myself accordingly.  So I’m trying to figure out what that would be. I have a fairly specialized skill set; my training is in the secondary sciences, but I don’t know what all else I can do with that.  My bestie suggested that I talk to a career advisor when I get home and I think I might. 

Do you ever feel like you are meant for more, but you don’t have a clue as to what or where to start?  It’s a level of lost-ness that’s subconsciously driving me crazy.  I know who I am but when I start thinking about the what next, I feel like I’ve left part of myself somewhere.

I know that all of these thoughts are in my head for a reason; that I’m meant to do more than what I’m already doing, but God hasn’t been specific on the what more and what next aspect of my future.  All I knew for sure was to spend one more year in Indonesia.  The expat teaching job market opens up in the fall and I’ve added a lot to the res since I’ve been here.  I’m praying that the next posting be the “right” posting so that I can put down some real roots.  I’m tired of moving.

My dream location is Hong Kong.  It is a fascinating city. It’s expensive as hell to live there, but there are some good schools there as well.  I’ve visited the city twice and I love it.  But I will go where I’m meant to go and I hope like hell it isn’t the Middle East. I know I was in Saudi Arabia—the absolute worst place in the ME to live as a single woman and that the other countries (especially Oman) aren’t nearly as strict—but I don’t care.  Other than the food, I want no parts of that part of the world ever again. I don't even want to visit Dubai.

To be honest, all I really want to do is relocate to Florence, Italy, date hot Italian men and write books for the rest of my life.  THAT is my ideal job and existence.  But maybe it will be the whip cream and cherry on top.  I can dream.

Of course, as things improve and progress, I’ll keep you posted.  I really gotta to do better with these kinds of posts.  It helps to get what I’m feeling out, but writing stories helps me manage my emotions so much better.  Here’s hoping that I find my way to where I need to be when I need to be there.



  1. I am blogging over here now.

    1. Hey Shana!!! I'll take a look at it. Feels good to write, doesn't it?

    2. Yes it does. i have wasted too much time not writing what I want to write. I am tired of building up other people's platform. Now is time to build one of my own.

  2. Why Italian men though? Have you ever dated one before? What's the tea girl?

    1. I haven't, yet. YET. I've loved Italian men for decades. I've been to Italy three times.

    2. I have a girlfriend who wants to date one too.

      She signed up for CaribbeanCupid and met an African guy on there. He is supposed to come visit her soon. But she also is becoming interested in an Antiguan dude too. I think she needs to throw him back out to sea. He said women love too much money.

      I just find how men are quick to say we love too much money, but don't want to hear it when we tell them they love too much sex. It really is a man's world.

    3. To be honest, most of the men I dealt with never gave me enough sex, so...

    4. Lord I have my hand over my mouth laughing. For me the quality is just bad. I rather not waste time doing it at all.

      Can Italian men go all night long? LOL!!!


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