So I know this guy. He’s a good man; smart, funny, and talented. I’ve known him for several years. I know that he’s attracted to me; that he likes me and has for a little while. The problem is that he’s passive and indirect.
Let me be clear: I have no interest in being with anyone right now. I’ve got a lot of wonderful things happening and plans to live abroad within the next 18 months or so. I’m selfish about my life and my time, and I know that messing around and falling for someone can derail some of my plans. Fuck that.
Now that that’s out of the way, let me continue with this little tale. I have a very strong personality with a tendency towards bluntness. Any man that is serious about dealing with me will know that from jump. He’s got to be strong enough to handle me in the ways I need to be handled. Some of you ladies know what I’m talking about, but I digress. I’m not attracted to passive men. I don’t notice them; they’re like gnats on a windshield. I’m not so arrogant to think that just because a man says “hello,” that it means he’s trying to get with me. I’m thinking that he’s merely being polite. For a man to try and get at me requires substantial effort on his part; he’s got to go out of his way for me to notice him. He’s got to spit some major game, and I don’t mean any lame ass pick-up lines lesser women fall for. Otherwise, he’s an insignificant bug and not worth my time. Just sayin’.
So this guy who I know likes me, hints all around it. He says little things about us potentially being together and I just smile and overlook them. He tried to ask me out once, and it took 45 minutes of him texting me and getting close, but he never came right out and asked me, and so we never went out. I knew where he was going with it, but I am not about to help a man ask me out. I need for a man to be a man and man the fuck up. If you want to ask me out, then ask me out. If you are attracted to me and want to know if it’s mutual, then ask me. I’m not rude, mean, or inconsiderate, but I will be honest about where I stand. But I do expect for a guy to be direct about such things, and I do expect for him to try and woo me. I need for him to spit some real game; something meaningful that lets me know he’s serious. I’m a flesh & blood woman, and I respond to the attentions of a man, but only if he’s a man about it. Passive men simply cannot get it from me. I’m too strong. I couldn’t take such a man seriously and would consider him nothing but a bug to be squashed under my boot.
My father was a passive man and he got flattened by the steamroller that was my mother. She told me when I was old enough to understand that I shouldn’t marry a man who was weaker than I was, because he will make me work harder than I should have to. I took her words to heart.
The guy in question is a man who will make some woman a good husband. I know he’ll be a good provider and will do his best to take care of her. It will have to be a woman who is all right and can deal with his passivity. I can’t do it, and I’m not about to lie to anyone and say I can. There is a place in this world for a man like that, but by my side isn’t it.
