Musings in the Dark: "Precession." Complete.


"Precession." Complete.

Part 12
Saturdays at Jade’s were always busy.  There was usually some sporting events on the TVs and there was a regular crowd.  Unless I scheduled ahead of time, I worked all day.  I sat in my office with my face glued to the computer, and it was probably looking at me more than I was looking at it.  Orion Jr. had gotten into the habit of calling me on the nights he didn’t see me and I looked forward to his calls.  I hadn’t spoken to his mother since she left my apartment, and I was frustrated and angry about all of it.  This was a miasma of both our making, and both of us were too stubborn to do the right thing by everybody.  
Sadao poked his head in my office door.  “Boss?”
I looked up.  “Sadao.”
“There’s a guy by the name of Broughton out here that wants to see you.  CJ Broughton.”
“Oh,” I said, standing up.  “Let him in.”
CJ and I didn’t get along, obviously, so when he came into my office, I was understandably wary.  But I was also a professional and I extended my hand.  He took it and gave it a brief shake.
“CJ,” I said.
“Orion,” he said.
“Have a seat.”
He sat down.  “This won’t take long.”
I sat down, moving my tie out of the way.  “What is it?  Is Phaedra all right?  Is my son all right?”
“You asked about Phaedra first.”
“Orion, I’m not a fool.  I know how you feel about her.  You never made it a secret, and I have to say I respect you for it even though I don’t like it.  Phaedra’s great.  I love her.  She’s a wonderful woman and she makes me happy—”
“Why the fuck are you telling me this, CJ?”
“Let me finish, Orion.  Phaedra has made me happy in the time that we’ve been together.  Quintaz is a terrific kid.  I love both of them.  But I can’t compete with you.  I tried, but I can’t.  Since you came back, Phaedra is different.  She’s even more guarded and secretive than before.  Like she doesn’t want me to know that she’s still in love with you, but I’m not an idiot.  Maybe its best that you did come back, because now I know that she was never really mine, and I don’t deserve that.”
I didn’t say anything.
“You broke her heart, do you know that?”
I nodded.  “I do.  I broke my own in the process.”
“It took her a long time to get used to me.  It took her a long time to trust me.  I was patient because I could see the woman she is when she does trust.  And when she finally let me in, you showed up and I could no longer trust her.”
“CJ, I’m sorry about all of that.”  I was.  He wasn’t a bad guy.
He took a deep breath.  “I came here to tell you that I’m not going to marry Phaedra.  I’m not going to stand in your way.”
“Does she know?”
“She will soon enough.  I just made my decision.  I haven’t seen her today.”
“CJ, Phaedra loves you, and she doesn’t want me.”
“Doesn’t matter.  I’m not stupid.  I know she slept with you.  I know that if I marry her, she would cheat on me.  She’s drawn to you in a way that I don’t think she realizes.  I see it, but she won’t acknowledge it.  There is no point in pretending that everything will work itself out.  She’s been out of her mind getting ready for our wedding, and she refuses to talk about the situation, so I’m just going to make it easy for her.”
“CJ, she doesn’t want me.  She told me.”
“Do you want her?”
“Of course.”
He chuckled.  “Orion, if you break her heart again, I will come after you.  She doesn’t deserve to have you bail out on her again.  You’d better make sure your presence is permanent.”
“It is.”
He stood up and held out his hand.  I stood up and shook it.  “I appreciate you coming by, CJ.  I’m sorry about all this.”
“I am too,” he said, turning to walk out of my office.  “I love Phaedra.”

Monday morning, I called Phaedra and got her voice mail.  I called her office, and was told by one of the receptionists that she wasn’t at work.  I called her mother, Gina, who curtly informed me that Phaedra asked her to keep Orion Jr. for a couple of days.  I offered to pick him up, but she refused.  She stopped liking me the day I left Phaedra and I knew it would take a miracle for Gina Thornton to forgive me for hurting her daughter and grandson.
Worried, I left Jade’s and drove to Phaedra’s brownstone.  I knocked on her front door until my hand throbbed.   I was scared that something had happened to her, so I went around back and peeped in through the windows.  Then I took a quick glance around to see if anyone was watching, and then used my little ring of pocket tools to unlock her door.  I’d deal with the repercussions of breaking into her house later, but for right now Phaedra’s well-being was my only concern.  The back door led into the kitchen and I saw two small cake boxes sitting on the counter.  They were from a well-known baker and I wondered if they were samples of potential wedding cakes.  The wedding was supposed to be in two weeks.

I walked deeper into the apartment, down the hall to her bedroom.   She was in her bedroom, standing in front of the mirror.  She wore her wedding dress.
She turned and looked at me.  Her eyes were puffy.  “How did you get in here, Orion?”  Her voice was thick.
“I broke in through the back door, Phaedra.  You didn’t answer your phone, or the front door.  I knocked.  I knocked until I splintered my hand.”  I held it up for her to see.
Phaedra shook her head.  “Maybe it’s because I want to be alone, Orion.  Did you consider that?”
“I understand.  I just wanted to see if you’re all right.  I’ll leave you alone.”  However, I was dumbstruck at the sight of her. 
She turned back towards the mirror.  “I thought I should try it on before I sold it,” she said by way of explanation.
“You look magnificent,” I said, hesitant to move closer to her.   My hand ached and my knuckles were starting to bruise.
“So what?” she said, running a hand against the skirt.  “Doesn’t matter.”
“Don’t sell the dress, Phaedra.”
“What am I supposed to do with it, Orion?  I’m not getting married, so what in the hell should I do with it?”
“Save it.”
“For what?”
“For later.  You never know, Phaedra.  CJ might change his mind.”
Phaedra's wedding dress
She rolled her eyes.  “Even if he did, and even if I let him, you would do everything in your power to stop it from happening.  Don’t bullshit me.  This is partly your fault.”
I didn’t say anything. 
“What in the fuck did you think was going to happen when you came back into my life?”
“All I wanted was my family, Phaedra.  That’s what I was thinking about.”
Wedding shoes
She sighed and lifted the skirt.  “Do you like the shoes?  They made me five inches taller.  I could actually look CJ in the face instead of his neck.”
“He told me,” I said.  “He came by Jade’s and told me.”
“Hmmn,” she said, kicking off the heels.  “You men and your big-dick competitions.  I hate both of you.”
“I’m sorry, Phaedra.  What can I do?”
“If my son wasn’t in love with you; if your absence would have absolutely zero effect on him, then I would tell you to go away and leave us both alone forever.  Quintaz loves you.  He absolutely loves his Daddy and I will not hurt my son by banishing you from our lives.  But I’m hurt, Orion.  I know I didn’t help matters by sleeping with you.  I know a great deal of this is my fault.  Everything was going well for me before you came back.  Taz and I would have been happy with CJ.”
She turned to the side and looked in the mirror again.  “All that money gone to waste,” she murmured.
“Don’t get rid of the dress just yet, Phaedra.”
“I’m not marrying you, Orion.  And yet I know you won’t let me marry anybody else.  You will get in the way of any relationship I have with a man other than you.”  She sounded tired.
“No,” I said.  “I know it makes me a fucking bastard, but you belong to me, Phaedra.  And I belong to you.  I always have.  We can work it out.  Give me a chance, give us a chance.  Let our son have an opportunity at having a family.”
She stared at my reflection as I walked closer to her.  “Orion…”
“Let’s take it a day at a time.  You can set the pace and I’ll do whatever you want me to do.  I’ll do whatever you say, Phaedra.  All I know is that I will never, ever leave you or deliberately hurt you again.”
            Phaedra turned and looked at me.  “Orion…”
            I put my hands on her arms, wincing at the pain in my hand.  “Do you want me to beg?”
            She bit her lip and looked away.  “Orion, I don’t know.”
            “I’ll stay in my apartment and you can stay in yours.  We’ll start all over again.  We’ll date.  I’ll do all those things I did to get your attention initially.  I'll do whatever I need to make you fall in love with me again.  Tell me what you want me to do.”
            Phaedra looked down at her bare feet, then over her shoulder, and then finally at me.  “Orion…if I agree to this, then you will have to tell me everything you’ve done since you left me.  I don’t need some dark secret from that time creeping up on me five years from now and ruining mine and Taz’ lives for the second time.”

            I nodded my head, understanding that if she knew I was a member of the Ishiguro yakuza, she might leave me and take our child away.  But I would not lie to her, even if that were to happen.     It was a consequence and I would own it no matter what.
Phaedra turned around.  “Unzip me, Orion.  I’m exhausted.  I spent half the night crying and the other half wondering how I’m going to pay for a wedding that’s not going to happen.”
“I’ll pay for it,” I said as I unzipped her dress.  “Since it’s my fault.”  I resisted kissing her shoulder.  As much as I wanted to bring her into my arms and kiss her stupid, I couldn’t.  It wasn’t the right time; I didn’t know what Phaedra wanted.  She needed time to get over CJ’s deliberate jilt and if I was serious about being back with her, I had to give her the space she required.
She wore very pretty lingerie, but it was my swelling hand that got her attention.  Phaedra took it and looked at me.  “Did you splinter my door?”
I stared into her eyes.  “I was worried about you.”
She nodded.  “Go sit down.  Let me put something on real quick and I’ll bandage your hand.  And yeah, I’m not so righteous or independent that I won’t accept your offer.  I’ll make a list of everyone you need to pay, and pay them quickly, please.  I don’t want to get bills in the mail reminding me that I got jilted.”
I cradled my sore hand.  “I’ll run you a bath,” I said.  “Then you take a nap.  I’ll get you something to eat, and then we’ll talk.  I’ll tell you everything.  You might not like some of it, but I won’t keep anything from you, Phaedra.”
I went into the kitchen and sat down, closing my eyes.  My hand was swelling fast.  Phaedra came out of her bedroom, clad in a long T-shirt, carrying bandages and antiseptic.  She sat beside me and began methodically caring for my hand.

“I’m sure you’ve done things that I won’t like.  I mean, you left me when I was in labor.  I really didn’t like that, Orion.  As long as you tell me the truth, and tell me all of it, then I can deal with it.  I can handle it as long as I know what I’m up against.  Don’t try to protect me by keeping the truth from me.  I’m not fragile.  If I was, I would have never survived giving birth to your eight and a half-pound, twenty-one inch long baby boy, or the heartbreak of raising him alone.”
“Just so I know what I’m up against,” I said, “how long are you going to remind me of that?” I winced as she wiped down my scraped knuckles with alcohol pads. 
She gripped my hand hard enough for it to hurt and met my eyes.  “As long as I damn well want to, Orion Korematsu.”
“Fair enough,” I said.

She ended up lying down after bandaging my hand.  I removed my shoes, suit coat, tie and shirt and lay down with her.  Phaedra didn’t push me away when I scooted in beside her.
“I’m so tired,” she said.
“Go to sleep.”
“Taz is going to want to come home.  I haven’t seen him in a week.”
“I can go get him if you want.”
She yawned as I put my bandaged hand on her hip.  “Not just yet…and your hand better not move an inch, Orion.”
I rubbed my nose against her ear.  “Phaedra, I’m so horny for you.  I haven’t been with anyone but you, and just that one time.  I am not used to going this long without sex.  I’d better tell you this now.”
“Orion, we have a lot to work out…I’m not having sex with you.”
“I know,” I said.  “I’m not going to push you or anything like that, but you may as well know.”
She giggled.  “You haven’t changed completely; you were always a horny bastard.  If I hadn’t been on birth control, we would have had about four children.”
“Six,” I said, grateful for the levity of the moment.
“So if I happen to brush up against you, don’t be surprised…is what you’re saying?”
“Pretty much.”  I kissed the back of her ear.  “But I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.  Go to sleep.”

Sometime during our nap, she turned to face me and I woke up with her curled into me.  I sighed and kissed her forehead.  I decided that I’d have one of my guys deliver a nice spread of food from Jade’s, and Phaedra and I would have a nice meal and a long conversation.  I was going to tell her everything; everything I’d done since I joined up with the Ishiguros.  I owed her that.  She told me that she could handle anything if she knew it up front, and I hoped to God that it included my less-than-legitimate mob activities.
I scratched the back of her head and kissed her forehead again.  She opened her eyes and looked at me.  I stared at her.  Phaedra caressed my cheek and ran her thumb over my lip.  “You make such a liar out of me, Orion.  I’ll never forgive you for it.”
“I can live with that,” I said. 
 Phaedra kissed me and slid her arms around my neck.  She made love to me right there on top of the covers.  Our union was intense; she gripped my fingers as she rode me and wrapped her legs around me when I had her on her back.  She bit my shoulders, dug her nails into my back and buttocks, and pulled my hair.  It drove me crazy.  My body felt like it would burst; my heart overflowed with love for this woman.  From the way she held on to me and from the slight tears that trickled out of her eyes, I knew that Phaedra felt for me as strongly as I did her.  She made a man out of me; she made me whole.  I didn’t want to live without her, and I knew that I wouldn’t.  My name came out of her mouth in short, rapid spurts as she climaxed and I blissfully followed her into the void.  I adore you, Phaedra Thornton.  God knows I do. I would risk everything for the love of you.

A/N:  Okay, so this was more of a novel than a shortie.  I didn't intend for Phaedra and Orion to go past 50 pages, but what I never do is stifle the muse.  She told me that it would take more than 50 pages to tell their story, and she's never lied to me yet.  So for those of you that tuned in regularly, I appreciate your patience and thank you for your support.


  1. By now you know that I love this story. I love this story because the characters felt so real that you could feel their emotions and you wanted their story to end well. You and Ankhesen Mie are great writers. So far of all the stories that I have read on line this story, Red Light (even though it is still been written), Adrenalin and Oh Mika, Mika are the absolute best!

  2. Thanks so much!! I can't promise if it ended well for Phaedra and Orion; he is a member of the mob after all, but this was as far as the muse took me. Also, I'm glad you liked "Adrenalin." Rick Yune is the father of my current child... :D

    Thanks again for reading and reviewing.

  3. Hi! I loved the raw passion and the real characters of this story. I have re-read it twice! Quick question: What movie is the second to last image from?
    Thanks for the great story!!!

  4. Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it.

    Honestly, I do not know. I was randomly searching for pictures and that one came up. I need to find it.

  5. So it looks like the name of the movie that the second to last clip comes from is called "The Fifth Commandment" and it stars Ricky Yune and Latina beauty Dania Ramirez.

    Here is a link:

    The movie is about an assassin who is hunted by his former clan members--sound familiar lol?!

    Definitely gonna hit Netflix up for this one!!

  6. Thank you, Anon! I'm queueing it up now! Thanks for the information, and please leave a name next time.

    Appreciate the support!

  7. I really loved this story! The characters were very likable. I'd love to read more about their growing relationship. I'm sure there will be lots of adventures/drama/action with Orion's chosen profession. Great job

  8. Thank you so much! I appreciate that. Glad you enjoyed.


Thanks for commenting. Please be sure to leave a name; I like to know who I am talking to.