TELA Smutty Outtake, part deux...

Previous chapters...


He didn’t even need to ask.  Kit helped me get up and I got Jelani to his room and put him to bed.  Kit handed me a damp cloth to wipe his cheeks and forehead.  I tucked him in and turned on his mobile and the bed camera.  Then I walked out and quietly closed the door.  Kit followed me back to my bedroom, putting his hands on my waist.  As soon as the door was closed, he had me up against the wall and we were kissing passionately.  I throbbed all over, and from the feel of him, he did too.

We made it to the bed, where he tore off my panties and I pulled off his shorts.  To have him naked and on top of me was unspeakably fantastic.  We kissed fervently; our hands in each other’s hair, our bodies pressed together in a scintillating vortex of heat.  I always knew from the moment where we put our feelings for each other out there that our coming together would be explosive.  It took a month, but the shock wave from our union would spread forth like that of a volcanic blast, and would have the same ripple effects.

He broke the kiss and looked at me.  I was so wet; it was like I was drowning in my own juices.  Kit stared at me; his eyes were dark and as shiny as a moonlit midnight, and he pressed his lips to my ear and said, “You’re marinating.  You’re so wet for me.  I can’t tell you what a turn on that is, what it does to me.”  He reached down and slid the back of his fingers against my lips, brushing against my swollen clit.  I nearly shrieked in response before grabbing the back of his head and kissing him.

“Kit,” I breathed.  “I don’t know how long I can hold out…I want you in so many ways; I don’t even know where to begin…kissing you, stroking you…where to start?”

“Zuri,” he said, kissing my neck while angling my hips, “Calm down.  Just let me pleasure you.  Come if you want to come, but don’t hold back.  Let me know when I make you feel good.”  He pulled my arms up and pinned my wrists to the bed.  Then he bent down and took one of my tender breasts in his mouth, running his tongue around and the nipple in slow delirious circles before affixing his magnificent lips around it before sucking.  It was like there was a direct line between my tit and my girlfriend; the moment he started nipple play, she started gushing.  He released my hands and pushed my breasts together and buried his face in my cleavage. 

“Zuri,” he moaned.  It sounded like he was beside himself.  It certainly felt like he was.  He started sucking the other nipple while tugging on the first.  Incoherent sounds escaped my lips as I felt myself go.  I couldn’t help it; it has been a damn long time since I’d been touched like this—come to think of it, I’d never been touched like this.  I groaned and cradled his head as he exhaled his pleasure.  Kit bit my nipples and I gasped; the sultry mix of pleasure and pain made me gush again.  “Oh!” I cried.  “Oh, Kit, ohhhhhhhhhh!”  I locked my legs around his hips and could not stop myself from climaxing.  Number one.

“Mmmn,” he groaned, making his way across my cleavage to savor my other nipple.  I arched so that my breasts buried his face and he could access freely.  He let the other nipple go with a muffled ‘pop!’  “Mmmn,” he said again, “Zuri, so good…”

He pressed a hot kiss in my cleavage and licked his way down and over my navel, swirling his tongue in the dip.  Then he looked up at me; that smile creased his face and made my heart soar.  “Come down to the end of the bed so that I can get on my knees.”

I didn’t need any help, but Kit helped me scoot down to the end of the bed anyway.  Kit got down on his knees before me and dropped sweet, painful kisses on my thighs as he unrolled my stockings.  He spread my legs and looked up at me, working his way close to kiss my chest and my belly.  He moved with elaborate slowness as his soft hair and softer lips slid across my skin; the two sensations were mind-blowing. 

“Jesus, Kit…” I was about to climax once more.  Apparently, he sensed it, for he dipped his head and smelled me.

“Don’t do it,” he warned, pressing veed fingers against me.  “Wait another minute or so.  Wait for me, Zuri.”

“I’ll try,” I said, bracing myself against the bed.

He chuckled and dropped a kiss on my belly.  “We’re going to take our time, make this last for as long as the baby is asleep.”  Kit maneuvered my hips until my pelvis tilted and he slid his arms underneath my hips and over my torso me so that he could fondle my breasts.  He tossed my legs over his shoulders and it was all I could do to keep from squealing.  I gripped the bedcovers as sweat popped out on my forehead; I was breathing like a steam engine and flowing like a rapid mountain stream.  I couldn’t move my hips or my legs; Kit’s obvious pleasure at giving me head was more than enough to send me over the edge.  I couldn’t stop the torrent that was my impending orgasm.

“Kit,” I moaned, “Kit, move your head…I’m going to come.  Please, I don’t want to—”

“So come,” he ordered.

In his voice, I heard the command of a senior FBI agent; someone a criminal wouldn’t want to fuck with, and it drove me crazy.  I tried to hold back; I tried to keep from drenching his face, because for sure I was going to squirt this time.  He wouldn’t let me go.  He felt me tense up and paused long enough to say, “Don’t be embarrassed to climax, Zuri.  That’s what I want you to do, what I want to make you do.”

“I don’t want to come all over your face…!” I moaned.

“I want you to come all over my face,” he said.  “I want that.  So give me what I want.”

Then he buried his face between my thighs and slipped his tongue inside me, wiggled it, and that did it.  I exploded.  My toes curled and uncurled, matching the grip of my hands and Kit’s name left me on a long, low moan as I climaxed once more.  Number two.

          I fell back on the bed, winded, hands hurting from gripping the covers so hard.  “I can’t believe you made me do that.”

          He stood over me, his erection a beautiful brown exclamation point.  ““You’re delicious.  I’ll make you do it again, if you want.”

          “You’re asking me?”

          “I’m a gentleman,” he said.  “A gentleman treats a lady exactly how she wants to be treated.  If you want to come that hard again, I’ll make you.”

          I closed my eyes and moaned, staring at the moisture on his lips and his cheeks.  “Kit…”

He checked the nightstand and found the condoms.  Kit came back to the bed, staring at me.  He caressed my face.  “I have to be inside you, Zuri.  Now.  I’ll be as gentle as I can, because I know it’s been a while, but be advised that all I really want to do is just bury myself deep inside you as quickly as possible.  Put the condom on for me.” 

I grinned wickedly and took the package, then laid it on the bed.  He stared at me.  “Zuri?”

“Turnabout’s fair play, don’t you think?”

“Do you want to give me head?”

I slid my fingers around him and licked the tip.  “What do you think?”

“Sassy,” he said, his breathing constricting.  “And sexy.  Suck away; I won’t stop you.  But I do want to come inside you, so if I pull away, it’s because I’m about to bend you over.”

I murmured in delight, glad to take over.  He felt so good in my mouth; so hard, so right.  I slid my hands around his waist and relaxed my jaw, moving my head in a slow, seductive rhythm.  Soon, he had double handfuls of my hair and guided me over the landscape of his dick.  He tasted good; light and salty, a flavor I could get used to.

“Zuri,” he moaned, trying not to move my head faster.

I ran my tongue around and around, flicking the tip over his frenulum and the back of it over the head.  Kit stiffened, and just as he’d said, he pulled away from me, pushed me to the side, grabbed my waist and bent me over.  I love a man who isn’t afraid to manhandle me.  Lord knows I need it. I heard the quick rip of plastic, then another moment and he was inside me.  My back arched to accommodate him and he grabbed my hips, smacking my ass.

“Zuri,” he murmured.  “Zuri…”

 I closed my eyes and met his rhythm, popping my hips against his every time we connected.  “I feel you; you feel so good, it’s like you’re filling me up, Kit.  Mmmm….harder.  Pull my hair.”

A moment and then my neck was yanked back as he pulled my hair.  We moved faster, enjoying the smacking sounds our bodies made and the sounds that emanated from our mouths.  The bed bounced, knocking against the wall.  I spared a glance at the monitor to see if Kit’s and my noises woke Jelani, and was glad to see they hadn’t.  I’m an aural lover, and there was nothing like the music of really good sex.  I bent lower, putting my arms down on the bed and spread a little more.  My breasts were leaking.  I reached back and began to play with my clitoris.  He hissed and banged against me like a wild man.

“Zuri,” he said, his breath coming in hot hitches.  “Zuri, I’m about to come…I’m going to…”

I closed my eyes, pinched my clit and clamped down on his dick.  He felt the caving of the sugar walls and from that, burst.  I burst as well; running from the top and the bottom.  Kit trembled and stumbled forward, collapsing on top of me.  I grunted as I took his weight.  He covered my body and his limp dick slid out of me, mixing with the remnants of my third orgasm.

“Your ass is so soft, Zuri.  You’re so soft; every curve, every line, every bump…I love touching you.  I know that I’m heavy, but I could stay here with you like this.”  He rolled off me and removed the used condom.

I turned over and looked at him, swiping my sweaty forehead.  My breasts still dribbled, but not much.  Kit looked at me.

“You leaked during sex?”

“A couple of times; especially when you made me come.  I sprayed the bed a few seconds ago.

“I wish I’d been under it,” he said.  “That’s a kink of mine, Zuri.  Do you mind?”

“You have a breast milk fetish?”

“It’s a turn-on.  Are you leaking now?”

“Yeah.  Jelani will be up soon, so I should get cleaned up.”

Kit ran a hand over my back before lifting my arm.  He rolled in such a way that I was over him and he kneaded my breasts.  Soon, thin dribbles of colostrum escaped my nipples and he licked it off my skin.  He didn’t press hard and he made sure not to spray; he just gently licked the beads of liquid that formed on my nipples.

“If I were your son, I’d never give up the breast.”

“Whatever, Kit.  You know that greedy little fatboy is getting off the tit within the next three months.”  I remained over my sexy, quirky lover, immensely pleased.  “You make me feel good, Kit.  You know how to do it, do me.”

“I’m your man; I’d better know how to do my woman.  I don’t want another man trying to find out your sweet spots and your sexy secrets.”

I smiled and then a scream cut the air.  I looked over at the monitor.  Jelani was awake and wiggling out from under the blankets.  I sighed.

Kit gently kissed both nipples and slid off the bed.  “Go on and wash up.  I’ll get him.”

When he brought my squalling son into the room, Jelani was freshly changed.  He was on Kit’s shoulder and I watched as a few soft words and a couple of strokes on his back calm Jelani down.  Kit kissed the baby’s head and handed him to me.  I lay back down and arranged him against me.  Jelani started sucking and this time it really hurt, for I’d discovered that Kit too, was a hard sucker.

“You owe me, I said.  You suck hard too.”

“I promise that you can suck anything hard of mine anytime you wish.”

“Sure,” I said.  “Of course you would.”

Kit sat beside me, covering us with the sheet.  He kissed my ear.  “Zuri, that was beautiful.”

“I thought so too.”

“Were it not for the baby, we’d be at it again.”

“We would.”

“I’m spending the night.”

“I hope so.”

“I want this; I want all of this, all of you, every bit of it.”

“Kit, it’s already yours.”  I wasn’t about to play games with this man.

“I’m going to see to it that it stays that way.  He adjusted so that I fit in the curve of his arm.  We lay together and I found myself dozing against him while my baby nursed.  “You like it hard, don’t you?”

“I do, at times.  When the mood calls for it.”

“I’ll do what you want when you want it, Zuri.  Now get comfortable, let’s go to sleep.”

I couldn’t argue.  Kit made me come three times.  I wasn’t fit to do much else.  We lay back and I adjusted Jelani so that he could lie on a pillow.  I wrapped around my baby and Kit wrapped around me.  And we were like that, comfortable, happy, and as close to in love as two could be.  I wouldn’t put labels on what we had; Kit and I were together, and that was fine for me.

“Do you want more, Zuri?”

“Meaning?”

“More out of this, what we have here.”

“Kit, as long as we’re together and you’re good to my son, I’m fine.”

“Good,” he said. “I want what you want, and if that changes, then I’ll change to adjust to it.  I’m with you, and I want to continue to be with you.  I’m so crazy about you.  Let’s have something; let’s really have a life together.”

“All right,” I said.  “What does that entail?”

“An open mind and a man you can trust.  Completely.  Do that and I’ll do the rest.”

I ran my hands down Jelani’s back, thinking of how Kit supported me and helped me bring forth my son.  How he had defended me time and again; how he had saved me.  There was no reason not to trust him.  I looked into this man’s eyes; the potential father of my child, as far as I was concerned, and saw all I needed to see.  “Let’s do it.  Give me everything, Kit.”

fin.  For real this time.

The End of a Love Affair: Smutty Outtake

A/N:  I thought I was done with Kit and Zuri, but the other day, they demanded that I allow them to have sex.  So, for your reading pleasure...  Rating: NC-17 and a fetish warning.  Not for the squeamish.

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The plan was to actually try and go out for the evening.  Kit didn’t mind Jelani being a part of the date; he wanted to include my child in nearly everything we did.  It made our dating plans interesting, for they had to accommodate a three-month old baby.  But for the mere fact that Kit wanted Jelani around made it quite easy for him to get anything he wanted out of me.  Not that he has; ever since that beautiful night in my bedroom where we put our feelings out there, the most we’ve ever done is kiss and make out.  He’s been busy working cases with J____, and I recently reported to Quantico for my new job as a firearms instructor.  And he didn’t want to rush, which was fine with me.

Kit made an effort to see me at least twice a week; we actually planned our time together.  On those days, we were determined to leave work at a decent hour (it’s more difficult for him than it is for me), and he came to my house.  I’ve been to his apartment a couple of times, but he prefers coming to me so I don’t have to lug Jelani’s diaper bag and carrier around.  Either way, when we see each other, there’s a pressure in my chest and a tingling in my extremities.  I wanted Kit in the worst way; kissing him leaves me with an ache, a void, a sweet pain that nothing in the world could eradicate, except for one thing.  The woman in me; the one he’d unleashed, screamed for him and I could deny her but so long.

  Kit made arrangements for a Brazilian restaurant that I’d been dying to go to, and it was a place where I’d be comfortable with Jelani.  My precious baby boy bounced in his little seat and made happy little noises while I made up my face and fixed my hair.  I haven’t dressed up in months and it felt good to do so.  I wanted to look good for Kit; I wanted to be irresistible to him.  I wanted him to look at me and think what a sexy woman I was; how fortunate he was to have such a hot babe as his girlfriend.  What I really wanted was for him to be unable to keep his hands off me.  I bought condoms and stuck them in my nightstand because if I had my way, we would have sex this evening.  Jelani slept in his room now, and I had no fear that he would hear us getting it on.

The doorbell rang once; to let me know he was there, and then I heard him come in.  I gave him a key to my house two weeks ago.  I stepped back and looked at myself; the dress was a classic Badgley-Mischka LBD; simple, elegant and just the right amount of clinginess to accentuate my curves.  I wore it with thigh-high seamed stockings and a pair of black patent B-M heels.  My boobs were huge; Jelani was still on the tit and he was a greedy little boy.  I did the best I could to harness my cannons and wore nipple pads just in case I leaked.  Kit made no secret about his fascination with my breasts, but I did want him to look me in the eyes at some point during our evening.

“Zuri?”

“I’m in my bedroom,” I said, turning this way and that, tugging, pulling and tucking to make sure I looked my absolute best.  Jelani bounced happily in his rocker and made ga-ga sounds, as if to emphasize how good his mother looked.

Kit entered the room and stopped at the door just as I finished securing my corset.  “Hi, Kit.”

He stared at me for a very long moment, and I took the time to appreciate the utter fineness that was my boyfriend.  His hair was down; I liked it loose, and he wore a black suit, Kenneth Cole from the look, with an open throated white shirt.  I closed my eyes as I felt my womanly recesses begin to burn.

“Zuri…”

“I haven’t had a chance to dress up for you,” I said.  “You’ve seen me looking beat to shit and my hair a hot fire mess, and you still want me…I thought it would be nice for you to see me in all my feminine glory and wonder if you’ll want me still.”

“If I told you that it wasn’t necessary to go out; that I’d be willing to have my dinner right here…” he waved his hand in front of me, “…would that answer your question?”

I blinked.  “I didn’t cook anything.”

He came towards me.  “I didn’t mean that, Zuri.  You look so…you look amazing. If you said, ‘Let’s stay here,’ then I’m willing to do it.  I’ll do anything you want, you know that.”

“It took me two hours to get ready, Kit.  Including the time it took for me to get Jelani ready.  So, we’re going out to dinner.  I didn’t pour my wide ass into this dress just to turn around and take it off.”

He put his hands on my waist and pulled me in for a kiss.  I put my arms around him and kissed him back, leaning into him.  Kit’s hot, solid, sexy and considerate.  He’s the kind of man any woman would be fortunate to lose herself in.  And I wanted to lose myself in him.  His hands slid down and over my ass.  He gripped my cheeks and I murmured against his lips.  He had never grabbed my ass before; nor pressed me into him so that I felt his arousal.  Kit broke the kiss and looked at me.  He had lipstick on his lips and I wiped it off, knowing my own were smeared.  I’d freshen up in the car.

“Zuri, I want you more every time I see you.  I need to be with you; I need more than the sweetness of your mouth and the softness of your skin.  I want you; all of you, every inch of you.  Let me make love to you tonight.  Please.”

I pressed my forehead to his and considered the fact that it really wasn’t that difficult to get into the dress, and it wouldn’t be hard to get it back on.  The stockings were thigh highs; I could conceivably leave them on, and the heels if he wanted me to.

“Kit, I need you too,” I said.  “I want you; I need you…and you owe me another chance to wear this dress.”  I turned around so that he could slip it off me, and he did so, kissing my bare shoulders.

“Zuri, Zuri…what you do to me…”  He unhooked my corset and it fell down by my feet.  I moaned as his hands came around to caress my breasts, which had started to ache.  I watched us in the mirror; Kit’s dark head bent over my shoulder, dropping tender kisses.  His body heat was intense; as if he were a sun and I was drawn in by his gravitational pull.  He stepped back to remove his jacket, slacks and shirt and I turned to be treated to the hardness of his body and the softness of his lips.  My hands found their way into his silky dark hair and his once again found their way to my ass.  He gripped me hard, and bit my bottom lip.  I gasped, overcome with surprise and desire at my body’s response to his aggressive actions.  His breathing grew rapid and his kisses intensified.

“Zuri,” he broke off, nibbling the tip of my nose.  “Change of plans.  I don’t want to make love to you.  I want to fuck you.  Do you mind?”

Who was he kidding?  I was tingling all over from the bite to my lip.  To ensure he understood, I bit him back and nibbled his chin.  “That answer your question?”

When my feet left the floor is beyond me.  My back was pushed into the firm comfort of my bed and then Kit was all over me.  We kissed; hard, hot and heavy and he was between my spread legs, gripping my bare upper thighs so hard I knew bruises would form.  I still wore my panties and he his boxers, and we ground against each other like it didn’t matter.  He stroked my breasts and fingered my nipples; making them ache even more and I groaned with unreleased need.

Kit liked to kiss, and he was damned good at it.  He took his time with my mouth, but there was nothing tender about the way he ravaged my mouth and nothing sweet about my response to it.  I longed for him to be inside of me; my body throbbed and I’d arched my wet panties up into him enough so that he’d know for sure how horny I was.

“Kit,” I moaned as he kissed and licked my throat.  I slipped my hand into his shorts and caressed him; his dick was warm and hard and it felt like heaven in my hand.

“Zuri,” he breathed.  “Zuri, please…”

I started to stroke him as we kissed, really wanting him free so I could grip him good, but our desire was shattered by the cries of my infant son.

“Damn it,” I said, my hand still around Kit’s erection.  “Jelani…why?”

Kit kissed me once more and rolled off.  I wanted to scream in frustration, but got up to tend to my baby.  He was crying and I picked him up.  He had soiled his diaper and he was hungry.

“Kit, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, getting up to come stand behind me.  “We’re going to be fine, my dear.  He can’t help it.”

“Can you get me a diaper, some wipes and powder?”

Kit went to get the items and I removed Jelani’s adorable little outfit and the smelly diaper.  I cleaned him up while Kit disposed of the mess, and then washed my hands.  Then I lay down on my bed, irritated while Jelani rubbed his face in one of my breasts.  Sighing, I attached his mouth to the nipple and cradled him.  Kit came back in and saw me.  For what felt like an hour, but could have been no more than seconds, he watched me nurse my son and then got in bed with us.  He told me to hold on to Jelani and adjusted us in bed so that we could lock legs and he could support me.

“Kit?” I asked as he resumed kissing the side of my face and slid a hand down my thigh.  “Maybe we should have gone out to dinner.  Perhaps that’s why this little guy decided to cut the ape and ruin the moment.”

He chuckled.  “It won’t be the last moment he ruins.  Besides, if you want to go out, we still can.  If not, I’ll definitely take you out to dinner tomorrow.”

“Don’t you have to work?”

He shrugged.  “Half the time, J____ doesn’t need my assistance.  He takes off on assignments at will.  It used to annoy me, but it doesn’t anymore.  He can do without me for another day.  I want to spend quality time with my lady and her little boy.”

At this, Jelani waved his fat little fist.  I couldn’t help but chuckle.  “I want to spend time with you too, Kit.  Apparently, so does my son.”

“Good,” he said.  Then he started kissing the side of my face as I switched Jelani to the other breast. “It looks like he’s getting sleepy.”

“I hope so.  He’s a hard sucker.”

“Is that right?” Kit said.

I smiled and cradled the baby.  “Yes.”

Kit’s hand slid under my arm and began to stroke my nipple.  “Does it hurt?”

“A little,” I said.  It was the truth; Jelani’s jaws were strong and he had a tendency to clamp my nipples.  I sometimes had to apply cold compresses to my breasts when he finished feeding.  I didn’t know when I would wean him, but it wouldn’t be long before I started.

“What about now?” Kit said, moving his kisses to my ear.

I closed my eyes and squeezed my legs together.  “It hurts in an entirely different way.”  This ache I didn’t mind.

“Is that right?” he asked again.

“Yes,” I murmured, praying Jelani was asleep enough to be put down.

He pressed a kiss to my ear.  “I have to admit, Zuri, that watching you nurse your baby is a turn-on,” he said.  “I could watch you with him all night.  I’m so horny for you right now.”

“Really?” I said.  I knew that he watched me feed Jelani sometimes, but I never knew it made him horny.  “That’s a bit of useful information, don’t you think?”

“Well,” he breathed, starting to pinch my nipple, “I’ve tried to stay away from you whenever you do it just because I don’t think I could stop myself from jumping you.”

“What about it do you find exciting? The way I look or the way he feeds?  Or is it just my boobs being on display?”

“All of it,” he said, moaning as a dribble of milk leaked onto his fingertips.  I whimpered in response and instinctively flinched.  Jelani’s head moved and his lips pulled away from my engorged nipple; still making sucking motions.  Milk streamed out and sprayed his little face.  But he was asleep.  Kit watched this and groaned, squeezing me tight.  “I have to have you now, Zuri.  I want you so bad that I can taste it.  Please, please put Jelani down for the night.”

to be continued...

The End of a Love Affair (7/7)

I didn’t move when he kissed me.  I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to move.  I just stayed where I was, my body on fire in a dozen different places and my heart was pounding and my brain was screaming and my crotch was liquid fire.  I knew right then that I would not do anything to stop him kissing me.  It was as if my body was reminded that I was a woman, with a woman’s desires and a woman’s needs.  As if every cell in me was awake, alive, and screaming for a man’s attentions.  His kiss was bliss infinite and I wanted him to know I wanted it; parted my lips and invited him in.  Oh, it was nice, very nice.  I needed this, needed someone like him around me, with me.  I was aware of the fog that penetrated my brain…why someone like him?  Why not him?  And that thought persisted above all others, even after that magnificent kiss.  He pulled away first.  I think my eyes were still closed and my lips were still parted.

“Zuri,” he murmured, caressing my face.

I opened my eyes.  “Oh,” I said, smiling, blushing.

“I’m not sorry I did it,” he said, apparently thinking I was going to be angry.  I had to let him know immediately that wasn’t the case.

“I’m not either, Kit.”  I said, very slowly.  “I’m not.”  And I made sure he saw this in my eyes as well as heard it from my lips.  God, I wanted more…but his way of proceeding was so much better than mine.  Years of pent-up frustrations and unrequited love…I could want this man before me, very easily.  No.  I did want this man before me. 

He brought his knuckles to my face and kissed the tip of my nose.  “I should go.” 

Kit being the gentleman he was, I knew why he’d said such a thing.  He was aroused and I could feel it pressing into my belly.  It was completely fair; for I was horny too.  A thought fled through my mind: how long had it been since he’d had sex?  That thought did nothing to quell what was going on inside my own body.  However, he was a grown man and I’m a grown woman and I did not want Kit to leave.  I wanted him to stay.  So I didn’t let him go.  “No.”

“Zuri, I…”

“No.  I want you to stay with me.  I think we have to talk.”  I stared into those gorgeous eyes of his, suddenly and fiercely possessive of him.  “If you leave, this will be left out there and I don’t know when I’ll see you again.  I don’t want you to walk out of my house without knowing where I stand with you.  I mean, we’re standing here holding on to each other.  Don’t you feel like it needs to be addressed?”

“Zuri, are you sure?”

I kissed his lips and savored the feel of his mouth.  In seconds, his arms were around my waist and mine were around his neck.  To his credit, his hands remained on my waist, but I would not have minded if he chose to slide them down.  I needed to have my ass grabbed and my breasts felt up.  His hair, silky soft, grazed my forehead and cheeks and it made me want him more.  When I pulled away, we were both breathing a little heavier.

“Stay with me, Kit.  We’re adults; we can handle this.”

“All right.”  He sighed, smiling at me.  “I guess you see how easy it is for you to have your way with me.”

“Is it?” I teased, running my hands over his shoulders.  His body was firm and hard just the way a man’s should be and part of me just wanted to rest in him.  I was not about to let this burgeoning closeness between us be destroyed or halted.  I wanted to cement what I thought was happening and slap the cards down on the table.  Especially before Jelani woke up.   “Let’s clean the kitchen and talk.  I want to be near the baby.”  I wasn’t a bit worried about sinful transgressions.  I knew Kit Eastman would go as far as I allowed him, but a wicked part of me felt like he should be the one that was worried.  I locked up the house and he helped me straighten the kitchen, no words between us.  I got a small pitcher of ice water, juice and one glass and we went into my bedroom, mindful of my sleeping baby, who, if I had the time right, would wake up in an hour or so, demanding to be fed.

Kit stared at me as I sat the juice and water on my nightstand.  “I like to stay hydrated.  Jelani’s greedy.”

His eyes dipped to my chest.  “I would be too, if you don’t mind my being blunt.”

“I don’t.”  Then I smiled at him.  “Get comfortable.  I’m going to wash up a bit, and you can if you like.  I’m not afraid of this,” I said.  “Don’t worry that you’ll step over the line, Kit.  We’re adults.  We’re going to get in my bed and talk about this.”

He nodded.  I dipped into the bathroom to wash my face and rinse my mouth.  I put on my sleeping attire and exited the bathroom.  Kit went in behind me and I turned back the bed.  I took a long drink of water and checked on Jelani, who was sleeping peacefully.  I hoped he’d sleep for the next three hours, but I knew he wouldn’t.  I got in bed.  Kit came out of the bathroom.

 “Zuri?  Do you mind if I take off my jeans?  I, er…have on shorts under here…”

I smiled.  Boxers or briefs?  I hoped boxers.  I primly closed my eyes and he laughed softly.  I heard him unzip and wondered how he looked naked.  Probably fantastic.

I did not need to think about that.

“Zuri,” he said again.  When I opened my eyes, I saw that he wore a Marines T-shirt that just…fit…and blue boxers.  I swallowed to keep the drool in my mouth.  He got in beside me and pulled up the covers.  I turned down the lamp. 

            He was warm.  I sat up, suddenly nervous.  Kit and I were in my bed.  We were actually in bed together.  I took a deep breath and sighed.  As if sensing my consternation, he took my hand and slid his fingers through mine.  “Zuri, I want you.”

I paused, not able to halt the smile that broke across my face.  “Good.”

“I’ve wanted you for a long time.  But I thought you were in love with J_____.”

“I’ll always harbor affection for him, Kit, but I don’t love him anymore.  I have no more room in my life for uncertainty or one-sided relationships.  I need more than what J____ is able to give me.  I never thought I could walk away from him.  I wasn’t that strong.”

“You are now.  You have left.”

“Because of Jelani.  My son deserves a focused, happy mother.  I couldn’t be that if I were still stuck under J_____.”  I squeezed his hand.  “I want you too, Kit.  I don’t even know when it changed for me.  I’m tired of acting like I don’t want what other women want or have.  I want someone in my life.  I need someone in my life.  Someone who makes me feel beautiful and cherished, someone who loves me and will love my child.  I need someone I can depend on and trust to take care of me in the ways I require.  I think that it could be you, Kit.  I haven’t felt anything but that from you since we really started working together.”

He remained quiet.  I rambled on, now afraid of what he thought.  Had I assumed too much?  Oh God, please let me have guessed right!  Had I said way too much?

“Zuri,” he said, his voice quivering, “I want to be…I will be…I am…if you want me…”

“I have given you no reason to like me, Kit.  Not after my treatment of you when you were assigned to me.”

“Zuri, you were angry and upset over J___.  I understand perfectly.  And that was a long time ago.”

“And then I shut you out.  I shudder to think of what would have happened if you hadn’t tracked me down when I foolishly got myself stuck in that mess in Virginia Beach…”

“Don’t worry about it now, Zuri.  I admit, I was damned irritated that you disrespected me like that, but it doesn’t matter now.  All that is over with; it’s water under the bridge.  I’ve moved on from it and I want you to do the same.”

I squeezed his hand again.  “I do want you, Kit.  I want you in my life.”  What woman wouldn’t want a charismatic straight-from-the-hip gentleman like Kit Eastman?  Not to mention the benefits that came with him…like a great body, those eyes, his hands…masculine with a rough edge.  Kit had man’s hands…and I had to stop thinking about his hands if I expected to get anything else accomplished tonight.  “I want to be with you and see where this goes.  Can you accept the fact that I’m a mother?”

“Why wouldn’t I?  I mean, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“Well, some men would consider a kid excess baggage.  You’re not Jelani’s father.”

“Zuri, I knew you were pregnant shortly after I started working with you.  I know you have a son, and I’m not put off by it.”  He paused for a moment.  “My son died when he was two.  He was very sick and his immune system wasn’t strong enough.  He died in my arms.  My wife and I couldn’t stay together after that and we divorced a year later.  I miss my son.  Not a day goes by when I don’t think about him.  I’d hoped to have a chance at fatherhood once more.  I never thought I’d get the chance.  I would love to love your son.”

“So you’d be okay with this?”

“Zuri, I can love Jelani as much as you’ll let me.  I was there when he was born, remember?”

My heart was light with happiness.  If Kit could accept and love my son, then he had me.  I leaned against Kit’s shoulder and took a deep breath.  He smelled so good.

“I don’t want to throw this in his face, Kit.”

He didn’t need to ask who I was referring to.  “And you think I’d do that?”

“No.  If he finds out about us, then he finds out.  But I’m not going to tell him.”

“I don’t plan to do so either, Zuri.”

I shifted, brushing my leg against his.  I wanted him fiercely.  I wanted Kit’s hands on me.  I wanted him to touch me.  I needed touching.  I needed everything, truth be told. 

“Zuri,” he said, letting go of my hand, “I need to touch you.”

“I’m a mess,” I blurted out, amazed that he’d read my mind.

“I don’t think so,” he said.  “Come and get in my lap.”

I straddled his thighs and looked at him.  I wound my fingers into his hair and slid them through the silky mass, over and over as his head pressed into my chest.  His hands moved over my back and he sniffed me.     

“Zuri, you smell so good,” he said.  He slid his fingers through my hair and sighed as he worked his way to my scalp.  I wore my hair in a natural and it was thick, kinky spirals that I didn’t bother to try and tame.  And then he was stroking my scalp and I threw my head back to allow him further access.  Then he slipped those strong fingers down the column of my neck and captured the back of my throat before spanning my upper chest and flitting across the dimple at my neck’s base.  Kit sniffed me again, then pressed his forehead in my cleavage and I sighed, my own hands coming up to cradle the back of his head and stroke his hair.

            He did it right, slow and sure, never once needing to clarify which parts of me were off limits.  He knew…after that kiss, there was no part of me denied to him.  His hands slid down my arms, to my waist, and then over the curve of my belly.  Jelani left my abdomen soft and round.  I couldn’t help but say to Kit, “I haven’t been able to completely lose all the weight from the pregnancy.”  To which he responded, “What weight?”

Kit moved his hands underneath my tank top and his eyes met mine.  In a flash, I granted approval and off my top came, sailing over the back of my head to who knew where and who cared.  My breasts were enlarged, heavy with Jelani’s milk and he just stared at them, taking one in each hand and gently massaging them.  My nipples hardened in spite of myself and I found myself unable to breathe, which lasted until he gently kissed my nipples and I let loose with a rush of warm air between my teeth.  Ah, that felt so good!  His kisses were the right amount of tender and tense and in a moment, I was breathing hard and my fingers curled into his shoulders.  “Kit,” I moaned, squirming in his lap as he occupied himself kissing my breasts. “Kit, oh God…”

“Zuri,” he whispered.  “Zuri…” He burrowed his head between my breasts and his arms came around me.  Could we really lie here in my bed and not have sex?  Was it possible that I could stop Kit from making love to me?  Did I even want him to stop?  The answer to that was a qualified no.  He could get all of this tonight if he kept on touching me.

He kissed my nipples again, and then his kisses turned into something sweeter and evocative of all the primal feelings that had lain dormant for so many years.  I gasped.  He had me and he hadn’t even gotten to the lower half of my body yet.  I moaned my delight…I couldn’t hide it and I held on to him and he held me and we were like that and I was deep in the fog when I heard my baby crying. 

“Damn it,” I hissed.  Jelani would wake up now!

I looked at Kit and even though a thin sliver of moonlight illuminated the room, I knew he was smiling.  At Jelani’s interruption, sure, but more so from what he just did to me and made me do.  I got out of bed and picked up my baby, and then got back into my nice warm bed and adjusted his head so that he could nurse.  I leaned close to Kit and he put an arm around me and the other hand on Jelani’s head.

“You know this is where it starts,” he said to me.

“What?”  I said.

“A man’s preoccupation with breasts.  This is where it begins.”

I smiled.  “You’re a wicked man.”  Then, cradling my son closer so he could hurry up and feed, I said to Kit, “Hold that thought.”

“We don’t have to rush, Zuri.  I want to take my time with you.  Take care of your baby.  I’m not going anywhere.”

“I hope not,” I said.  “Not after I just put myself out there.”

He kissed my temple.  “We’re adults, remember.  We both know what we want, and we both want this.  And this is more than sex.”

I nodded.  “Yes.  I don’t play games with my heart or body, Kit.  You wouldn’t even be in my house if I didn’t think you were worthy.”

Jelani took an inordinate amount of time to be sated and then he wanted to play.  Kit and I played with him well into the night.  When he finally went back to sleep, I put him back in the crib and got back into bed.  Kit drew me into his arms and instead of what we’d been doing earlier, we went to sleep.  That was just like him.  He wasn’t in it for the short run…he was making a major investment and he had been from the day he stopped by my house.  I just didn’t know it.  We slept together without making love and morning came and we had breakfast and played with the baby.  It was so natural and easy between us that I chided myself for my previous blindness.  That first night was the beginning of a beautiful thing for both of us.  And it was a very long time before J_____ realized Kit and I were in love.

J____ visited my office at Quantico every now and then and sometimes stopped by the house when Kit was gone, never seeing the glow in my cheeks or the happiness plastered on my face.  Jelani was a beautiful, healthy baby and I had a wonderful man who worshipped both me and my son.  J____ made wry comments as to how nothing seemed to irk his partner, who rarely ever worked overtime anymore.  I never bothered to comment because there was a wistful sadness in my former partner’s eyes whenever he talked about Kit’s preoccupation with “whoever she was.”  I guess J____ knew that he would forever be denied that form of security.  His unquenchable need that drove him and fueled him shut him off from what could have been a complete and satisfying life.  I still care about him; he’s my friend and I’ll do what I can to help him.  But that twisted, skewed love affair we had was over.  Done.  Ended.   

fin

The End of a Love Affair (6)

My baby is a blessing.  When I came home from the hospital with Jelani, I hadn’t received his furniture yet due to him being about three weeks premature.  My mother sent a crib for me to use until his furniture arrived, which was just dandy fine with me because he was sleeping in my room, not two feet from me.  And I was nursing him. My mother also told me that she and my father would be coming down to stay for a couple of days to help me out.  I was happy yet irritated.  Happy for the help and for my parents to see their new grandson.  Irritated because my mother would absolutely try to tell me how I should raise my son.  She was also hinting around at meeting Jelani’s father.  That was going to be a disappointment….and an argument.

            I shed most of the weight from the baby, and six weeks after Jelani’s birth, I was back to my size sixteen with the exception of my chest.  Needless to say, I had a set of casaba melons up top and all I could do was sigh.  Jelani eats so much and he has grown and changed so much.  When I nurse him, I find myself at peace.  It was during one of these times when I thought about my offer to Kit.  I really wanted to have my friend over for dinner.  Even though I was an utter shit when we met, he has been nothing but extraordinarily nice to me and extremely considerate under the circumstances.  He had taken care of me, looked out for me, and helped me bring Jelani into the world.  A home-cooked meal would never be enough to thank him for that.

            Kit had told me that he had something to tell me.  But he and J_____ got busy with old cases and new ones, and I hadn’t had a chance to really talk to him.  He would call and check on the baby and me, and I found our conversations lasting longer each and every time.  When my mother and father visited and got on my nerves, I found myself calling Kit to vent and gripe about their interference.  He always took my calls, but I made it a point not to call him so much.  He was so easy to look at and to talk to.  He had a beautiful smile, an arresting gaze, and a pair of wonderful, strong hands with clean nail beds.  I’d never seen him with his hair down.  I’m not at all sure what was contributing to my pleasant thoughts of Kit Eastman:  my newfound maternal insight, my disappointment in J____, or plain old feelings of like and dislike.  I liked Kit.  I did.  I really liked him.  After being around Kit for most of the year, I have come to see what a good man he is.  I’d be a fool not to recognize it.

As I nursed my son, changing breasts, I also chided myself for being a fool and not recognizing what I was sure Kit felt about me.  The times when I caught him looking at me had been revealing. I was sure he didn’t realize that I recognized the look in his dark eyes.  And truth be told, I was hungry.  Starving.  I was in desperate need of sustenance.  I’m a flesh and blood woman with needs and desires, and they had not been attended to in years.  J____ had been a fairly decent lay; I climaxed, but I know I’d gotten a better peak if I’d chosen to ride Kingda-Ka in New Jersey.

Was Kit good in bed?  I admonished myself.  All that had ever been between us was friendship and some stolen looks.  That did not a relationship make; much less a sexual one.  After J____, I wasn’t about to be another friend with benefits.  The point was that I did want to know more about Kit.  What would it be like to be with him?  Would he be interested in dating a single parent?  Could we date?  We no longer work together, so it was possible.  I sighed.  There’s nothing wrong with me wanting someone in my life, someone worthy to be around Jelani.  I knew I could be everything for my little boy, but I am not a man and Jelani needs a good father figure.  I knew better than to think that J____ would step up to the plate.

            I made up my mind to invite Kit over for dinner the next day.  It would be Friday and he could relax and enjoy a good meal and some conversation.  And even though I was no longer with Violent Crimes, the cases would always hold my attention.  Some were too weird not to.

            I put Jelani down and flipped through my recipe box to look for a fast and easy meal. Chicken, no…beef, no….hm…fish.  Fish.  I haven’t had fish in a dog’s age….fish would be good.  I reached for my cell and dialed Kit’s number from memory.  After a couple of rings, he answered.

            “Agent Kit Eastman.”

            “Agent Eastman?  It’s Zuri.  Zuri Troy.”

            “Agent Troy!”  I can hear the smile in his voice.  “As if I could forget you.  How are you?  How’s that fat little joker?”

            I secretly liked the nickname he’d given Jelani.  Jelani was a fat little joker.

            “We’re fine.  Can you come for dinner tomorrow night?”

“Really?”

“Did you forget?  I owe you…from being in the delivery room.”

“Agent Troy, you don’t owe me anything for that.  It’s I who owe you.”  A pause.  “It was beautiful to see.”

“Kit,” I smiled down at my baby, who was looking up at me with his big brown eyes.  “be at my house at eight o clock sharp.  I’m preparing fish and vegetables.  I hope you like fish.” 

“I love fish.  What kind?”

“Salmon and rainbow trout.”

“Agent Troy…”

“And I thought I told you my name is Zuri!  Eight sharp and be casual, please.  I’m wearing jeans, so don’t you dare dress up.”

“Zuri,” he paused.  Breathless, it seemed.  “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been surer of anything else.  I want you over for dinner.  Kit, please come.”

“Okay.  I’ll be there.  Can I bring anything?”

“Well…no champagne or wine because I’m nursing, but anything else is welcome.”

“Okay.  I’ll see you later, Zuri.”  I could hear the smile in his voice.  He was as happy about that as I was.

“No later than eight, Kit.  Jelani will be very upset if you are late. So will I.”

This time he did laugh.  “Okay.  Good night.”

I hung up, smiling down at my baby.  For the first time, as a woman, I felt whole.  This was right.  I wasn’t setting Kit or myself up for anything, but he was turning out to be a really good friend.

The next day, Jelani’s furniture arrived.  Unexpectedly, of course.  I directed the driver to bring it into the spare bedroom.  However, he was not under any obligation to assemble my son’s bed, and being that I was his last stop and he was ready to get off work, he was not the least bit charitable.  So he left me with an unbuilt baby bed and all I could do was sigh.  My gurgling baby appeared to be amused with what his mother was having to put up with on his behalf.

“S’okay, you’re sleeping with me again tonight, little joker.”  I kissed his head.  I love my son more than life itself.  I hadn’t given the job or my transfer a thought.  I didn’t have time to put the bed together tonight; I wanted to nurse Jelani and take a leisurely bath before I started preparing dinner.  But as it stood, Jelani was seven weeks old and slept whenever the mood took him and I’d learned to sleep when he did.  So we both zonked out for a few hours and when I woke up, I realized it was seven-thirty and I’d not yet begun dinner.  The baby was still sleeping and I took that opportunity to take a quick shower.  I came out and slid into my old comfortable beat-to-hell jeans and slipped on one of my tank tops.  I was not about to get all cute, not when I’d just had a baby, was nursing, and was comfortable like I was.  I didn’t think Kit would mind; he’d always seen me look very chic and professional, except the day he came by my house.

I fluffed out my dark, kinky spirals and looked at myself.  I’d gotten more than my fair share of figure back.  My hips were curvy and my boobs had their own gravitational field.   I glared at the mirror.  Wonder if I’ll actually keep this shape after Jelani stops nursing?  I hope so.  I was a curvy, sexy little thing, so unlike I was before my pregnancy.  I wiggled my toes.  I’d been painting my toenails dark purple since being on maternity leave and they were freshly done.  I laughed.  J____ would never believe this.

Jelani awoke and wailed a moment and I picked him up.  I started cooing to him and playing and he began gurgling and smiling and I lost all track of time.  I’d forgotten I was supposed to be starting dinner when the doorbell rang.

“Damn!” I said. Dinner was supposed to be on the table and the fish hadn’t even been seasoned.  I went to the door, Jelani in my arms, and opened it.  Right on time, standing outside my door in a white shirt open at the throat and a pair of dark blue jeans, holding a bottle of what appeared to be wine was my partner.

His hair was down and he stared at me like I was something to eat.  My nipples sprang up as if they wanted to be his snack.  “Kit!” I said.  He just looked at me.

“Kit?  You okay?  Come in.”  I moved out of the way and he entered.  His stride was confident and he was wearing the hell out of those jeans.  Every bit of woman inside me woke up at once.  “What did you bring?”

“It’s sparkling white grape…no alcohol for you, Mom.”  He handed me the bottle.  “And is this the fat little joker?”  He gave me a look.  “Is it okay if I hold him?”

“Sure.  He weighs a ton and I gotta admit, he and I took a nap and I haven’t started dinner…so, do you mind?”

“Naaah, give him to me.” 

I handed him my son and Kit took him, holding him like he was a pro.  Jelani gazed up at him, wiggling and gurgling.  He reached for Kit’s nose and his tiny fingers slipped over the tip.  Kit chuckled softly and began cooing to the baby.

I watched him for a second and then I really got a good look at him with my baby.  No, I couldn’t have possibly noticed this before.  Not what I’m seeing now.  Even when he had on that hospital gown, it didn’t make him look like this.  I guess it’s the single woman in me finally clamoring for attention.  I stared at this man in front of me, belatedly realizing that he was…handsome, to be general, and fine as hell, to be specific.  I was looking at his jeans and I guess I was staring.  Why didn’t I notice this earlier?  I cursed myself for being too professional to pass up ogling opportunities like this.  And so close!  I fanned myself.  It had to be the sight of him holding and playing with my baby like he’d done it before.

I wondered if he had.  Then I coughed.  “Fish okay with you?” I finally said, getting my hormones under control.

Whatever you cook is alright with me.  I’ll eat anything.”

“Good.”.

            I walked past him into the kitchen to begin cooking and he followed me.  I have bouncy baby seats in every room for Jelani bounce in while I do what needs doing.  One sat on the far kitchen counter.  Like a pro, Kit laid him in the chair, bounced him, and turned to help me.  I’d gotten out the fish and a box of wild rice and he actually washed his hands and began washing the fish.  I was too stunned to stop him; I wasn’t used to having a man in my kitchen.

            Kit patted the trout and salmon dry and I put the rice in the rice cooker with vegetable broth.  I told him to season the fish with salt, pepper, dill and lemon and pats of butter.  He followed my instructions while I beat up muffin batter.  Then he leaned back on the counter, glancing ever so often at Jelani, who was dozing, but watching me.  I felt it too.  I kept moving around the kitchen, pulling down seasonings and dishes, warm in spite of myself. I don’t know what it was that was making him stare so hard…I’d never felt like this before.  It wasn’t uncomfortable, but erotically pleasant, in ways that I’d never felt for years.  I didn’t want to fidget, so I lightly sprayed my popover pan and poured the batter into the deep cups.  Kit watched me and his eyes were like hands; fingers, touching me all over.  I could feel his breath against my neck and the heat of his body behind me.  It was like he was right up on me, when in actuality he was across the room.

I took a deep breath and as I looked at the pot of boiling water.   I unconsciously stood on one foot, which is what I usually do while waiting for my coffee to brew in the morning.  And I could feel his gaze all over me and I finally recognized the churning in my stomach for what it was.  I was hoping he approved…anticipatory of what he was wondering as he looked at me.  I put two bags of frozen vegetables in a colander and slipped it into the boiling water.  I didn’t have to wonder long.

“Zuri,” he said.

I put my foot down and exhaled.  “Yes?”  I couldn’t look at him.  I was nervous…yes me, a trained Agent and an expert marksman, nervous.

“Zuri…you’re beautiful.  You’re so damn beautiful.”

I turned to look at him and knew it was the truth, just by looking at his eyes.  “What?”

“I said that you’re beautiful.  Motherhood definitely becomes you.”

I looked down at my chest and hips and was about to fire off a sassy comment to squelch the tugging sensations going on in my crotch when he read my mind.

“And I’m not talking about your…curves…either, though they’re beautiful too.”

“Kit…”

“I can’t help but look at you.  You should know that by now.”

“Kit, I…”

“I’m sorry if I’m offending you, Zuri.”

“You’re not.  I just thought…”

“Hm?”

“I just thought you were thinking something else.”

“Do I want to know what?”

I grinned.  “Not unless you want me to tell you.”  I tested the veggies and stirred the rice.  Kit picked up Jelani, who was bouncing happily in his chair, and took him into the living room.

He thinks I’m beautiful.  My crotch sang its happiness.  Isn’t it amazing what having a baby will do for you?  But clearly, he thought that all along, even before he knew I was pregnant.  And watching him with Jelani was wonderful in itself.  Jelani isn’t used to anyone but me and Mom and Dad, and yet here he was gurgling at Kit.  Probably captivated by those sexy dark eyes.  From what I know of the secretary pool, those eyes could stop traffic. 

When dinner was ready, we ate at the table with Jelani on one side.  Kit told me about working with J_____ and how they would never be friends.  He said in no uncertain terms that J____ missed me and even A. D. Brady missed me.  The field office was rife with gossip, and people tried to get Kit to talk, and he wouldn’t.   J_____ was doing an MIA since coming to see me in the hospital.  I didn’t care anymore that he hadn’t been around to look in on me.  He called from time to time, but he’d allowed himself to become sucked back into those violent cases and I know how he is.  I was fine with it.  Whatever we had was at an end.  I used to love him, but not anymore.

            There were others to consider now.

Jelani began to cry and I knew why.  He was hungry.  I picked him up and sat on the couch, adjusted my tank and began to nurse him.  I’d left Kit sitting at the table and when I nurse my child, I tend to forget about everything else except him.  So I didn’t notice when Kit got up to go stand over by the wall to watch me nurse my son.  I was humming as Jelani fed.  I was hoping he’d go to sleep so I could clean up the kitchen, and spend time talking to Kit.  I stroked his forehead, smiling at the spattering of soft brown fuzz on his head.  He smelled so good, better than chocolate, fresh air, everything.  I smelled his head and adjusted him so that he could feed from my other breast.  When I switched arms, I noticed Kit standing over by the wall watching me.  There was a tenderness in his eyes, a sweet seductive pain and our eyes locked.  I didn’t notice that my milk had started to spray in Jelani’s face.  Jelani wailed and I attached his lips to my awaiting nipple and, suddenly embarrassed that Kit saw my naked breast, looked for something to cover me. 

“Don’t…please.  If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll go in the kitchen, but don’t…”

I looked at him.  I wasn’t uncomfortable, but you know, my breast was kind of on display for him to see…

“My wife used to breastfeed our son when he was a baby and I loved watching her with him.  I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomf—“

What he’d said was news.  “You’re married?”

“I used to be.  We divorced five years ago, after our son died.”

“Oh,” I said.  “I’m so sorry.”

“She would let me watch her nurse our son.  I didn’t realize how much I missed it until just now.  But if my staring bothers you…”

            “I’m not uncomfortable, Kit.  I’m at home.  I didn’t want to make you feel awkward.”

“I’m not.  That’s just…beautiful…to me.  Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.  Come sit down beside me.”  With my free hand, I patted the sofa cushion. He eyed me warily and ran his fingers over his left brow.  Was he nervous? Was I?  I did a mental reconnaissance and decided I wasn’t and I wanted him to sit with me while I cared for my baby.  We’re both adults and from what he just told me, he’d seen this before.

            “Do I have to come and get you?  Sit down.”

            “Yes ma’am,” he said, smiling and coming to sit on the other end of the couch.  I glared at him. He looked at me and there was no trace of a smile or grin in his voice when he said, “I’d better sit here, if it’s okay with you.”

Our eyes met and his expression told me what his voice was not able to articulate for fear of embarrassment or anger.  I shivered unconsciously, waking my baby who’d finally drifted off to sleep.

Kit’s eyes went from mine to my son.  “You woke him up.”

I looked at my son.  “I see I did.”

Jelani stuck out his little tongue and scrunched up his face.  A minute later, I smelled
something foul.  Kit looked at my face and laughed.  “What’re you feeding that kid?”

I laughed back.  “Breast milk.”

He shook his head and I eyed him as I began to rock Jelani.  “Don’t you say another word!”  I would have never thought that he and I would be able to engage in bantering such as this.  It was so fun and soooo relaxing to verbal spar with a man other than J_____.  I got up and went to go change my son.  Not surprisingly, Kit was there to help and he saw the pieces of Jelani’s bed lying all over the floor.

“Troy…Zuri, why didn’t you tell me the bed needed building?”

“Uh, it arrived right before you did.”

He looked at me; those eyes of his penetrating right through me and my crotch gave a yell I’m sure he heard.  I sighed.  Without a word, he bent down, giving another fantastic view of his denim-clad ass.  I shook my head.  It’d been two years, seven months, two weeks and three days since I’d had a really good lay.  And without the least bit of doubt, I had a strong feeling this man would give me way more than that.  I grabbed Jelani’s diaper bag and carried him out of the room to change him.

After he was freshly changed, I sang him to sleep.  My little joker was all tuckered out and I put him down in his crib, turned on the monitor and shut the door.  I adjusted my tank top and ran my hands over my jeans and went back into the bedroom where Kit was assembling the baby bed.  And I was not surprised to see him almost done.  How’d he do it so fast?  Must be an old pro.

“Need help?”

He turned to look at me.  “Not really, but your company would be nice.”

I grinned.  He began screwing in the upper rails and eyed me.  “I heard you singing to him.  That wasn’t ‘Rock-a-bye-Baby,’ wasn’t it?”

I rolled my eyes and dropped down next to him to help him.  “No.”

“So?”  His eyes twinkled and I decided that I really did love his eyes.

“Okay, it was an Al Green song, all right?”

“Al Green?”

I blushed.  I’d been Al Green fan for years and to get Jelani to sleep, I usually sang to him “Still In Love With You,” or “Tired of Being Alone,” which is one of my favorites.  Jelani liked the melody.  I liked Al.

“Yes.  And what’s wrong with Al Green?”

“Nothing.”  He tightened the rails.  “You mind playing him for me?”

            I loaded Al’s Greatest Hits into my cd player and hit play.  Sure enough, that wonderful melodic intro came on and I found myself swaying with my eyes closed.  And I began to sing along to “Still in Love With You.”  I LOVE this song!

When I opened my eyes, Kit was lounging in the doorframe, smiling at me.  Unashamed at all (did I mention how liberating having a baby is?), I held out my hand to him.  He came forwards and took it, coming close enough to slide his other arm around my waist.  The glimmer in his eyes told me more than I’d ever expected.  His mouth said, “I never thought I’d ever see you like this, Agent Zuri Troy.”

We began to dance to the music, eye to eye.  I was damn comfortable too, I don’t mind saying.  He fit so well with me, chest to breast, my hips aligned with his, as if we were parts of a puzzle.  “I could say the same myself, Agent Kit Eastman.”

“Well, that basement office doesn’t leave much room for dancing around, you know.”

I nodded.  “I do.”

And we danced and I couldn’t help singing along at my favorite part, “When I look in your eyes/you let me know how you feel/when it hurts so, to let you go/seems to me that I’m wrapped up in your love/baby don’t you know that I’m still in love with you/sho’ nuff in love with you…”

Kit was looking at me funny.  I had to explain.  “Jelani likes it when I sing this to him.”

I felt his arm around my waist tighten and pull me closer.  He wasn’t smiling anymore and his eyes were wavering limpid pools of black and were focused on my face.  I found I didn’t want to breathe.

            “He’s not the only one,” he said, his voice low.  I stared at him, knowing my mouth was parted and I looked stupid, but the kicker came when he said to me:

“You’d better slap my face, kick me out, shoot me or something, Agent Troy.”

“Why?”  I breathed, knowing the answer.

“Because of what I’m going to do next…”

to be continued...