Musings in the Dark: A Genuine “WTF” Moment


A Genuine “WTF” Moment

As you know, I conversate regularly with acquaintances of mine about aspects of their relationships; whatever they’re willing to share with me.  They know that at some point, I’ll incorporate snippets of their stories into one of my novels.  It’s all fodder for me.

So one of my acquaintances, whom I’ll call Stephanie, shared with me an utterly hilarious story about what was supposed to be the establishment of a “friends with benefits” situation.  She and this guy met a few weeks ago and they went out twice.  The dates weren’t really serious; it was a guy she enjoyed talking to and interacting with.  Stephanie has said many times that she wants to engage in a casual sex relationship, and she’s honest about it.  So when she met this guy--I’ll call him Jeffrey--she thought that she could have such a fling with him, especially since the first two dates were great.

Jeffrey was apparently on the same wavelength, because he initiated talk about wanting to be intimate with her.  Stephanie, relieved that he was honest enough to own up to it, and told him that they should have dinner one night and then go to a nearby hotel to get things started. She wanted to have dinner to establish the parameters of the FWB situation, and talk openly about expectations.  She told Jeffrey to pick the day and time, and he chose a Friday night, nine-o-clock, at a restaurant near her place of residence.

At nine, Stephanie was at the restaurant. She said that she was ready; had an overnight bag, and was looking forward to having a night of fun with Jeffrey.  However, Jeffrey sent her a text at about 8:55, telling her that he was running late. Stephanie told me that she texted him back and asked him how late he would be, and it took him a while to respond.  Irritated because she’d been up all day and didn’t know how long it would take for him to arrive, Stephanie went back home.  Jeffrey called her and told her his location; he would be at least 45 minutes late. Steph told him to go back home and not bother with meeting her at the restaurant.  He insisted on it, and she eventually gave in, but said: “All we’re going to do is get a bite to eat.  I’m upset and I don’t feel like doing anything else.”

I asked her why she gave in, and she said she didn’t know why.  I asked her was it possible for Jeffrey to talk his way back into getting some nooky, and she said no, because she was annoyed that he had disrespected her time.  I asked her why she bothered taking a meal with him if that was the case, and Stephanie, being a hothead, said that she wanted to let him know why she was upset.  I said that he probably thought that she’d get over her irritation and they would still have sex, because that was what he expected and what they agreed to.  She said that she expected to be dicked down by ten-fifteen, not meeting him at the restaurant.  

Anyhoo, she said they met at the restaurant and had dinner.  She explained why she was upset and the dinner conversation was very light.  She told me later that Jeff crossed several lines--he tried to touch her face and kept calling her “baby” even though they had not established that kind of familiarity.  He told her in no uncertain terms to get over it, and that she had to learn to be patient. He also gave her some weak reason as to why he was late, and her gripe was that he should have contacted her via text immediately when he realized that he was going to be late; not wait 45 minutes to do so.  

I cracked up at this, because I know how Stephanie is.  I imagined Jeff got his ass handed to him at that moment.  But I think he realized that he truly fucked up, because when dinner was over, he tried to compliment her and sway her, and she wasn’t trying to hear it.  She thanked him for dinner and got in her car.  He had the testicular fortitude to ask if she’d changed her mind, and she told him that she let him know that to be the case when he called her earlier, and she was too tired and too irritated to want to give him some.

Then she told me he had the nerve to get salty about it.  When she left the parking lot and was on the road, he called her and told her he had “something” for her, and if she wanted to come back and get it, or he could bring it to her.  Stephanie told him that she’d get it later because she was already driving.  She said he got salty once more and hung up before saying good night.  Stephanie said that when she got home, she blocked his number, and she was pissed that she didn’t get to get off.  I asked her why she didn’t just take him straight to the hotel, and she said she wanted to take the time and talk about expectations and little intimate details so that the encounter would be mutually enjoyable.

I made her tell this story several times because I could not believe it.  It has always been my understanding that men will do damn near anything to have NuPussy, including driving long distances and paying money in the form of dinner and/or a date.  And when it’s a mutual understanding that both parties knew they would be fucking, and that it was likely to be on a regular schedule, then it made it all the more worth it.  I expected Jeff to use his degree from Swag University (Stephanie said that he’d demonstrated exceptional confidence their first two outings, and it was something she found highly attractive) and smooth talk his way into a night of NuPussy.  I thought Jeff was going to say whatever needed to be said to make sure he got what he drove 40 miles and paid almost $100 for.  Apparently Jeff was a Swag University dropout.

I thought that for the chance to get some NuPussy, Jeff would have made sure that he was at the restaurant on time.  I thought that when he was in danger of not seeing Stephanie, he would have used his charm to encourage her to meet him at the restaurant, and that when she ultimately did, he would pull out all the stops and use every trick a Swag University degree calls for to talk her out of her panties.  I expected it.  I expected it.  Almost every woman understands what NuPussy is and what it can make a man do.  That Jeff fucked everything up was completely unbelievable.  I’m still stunned by it.  It was clearly the biggest WTF moment I’ve had all year.  


  1. If he truly he had swag he wouldn't have been late in the first place.

    I don't care if he had to build a Delorean or a TARDIS from scratch to go back in time 45 minutes just to be on time.

    And how in the blue hell is he going to be salty for not getting an opportunity he messed up to begin with.

  2. Denny:

    Exactly. She originally described him as having swag, but I know she's reconsidered, because his fail was of epic proportions. No man serious about the conquest of NuSex would willingly mess it up.

    I didn't understand that either. I was confused. I'm still confused. If my bank told me to be there at 8:00 a.m. because they were going to give me $1000, my ass would have been there at 7:00, just to be sure.

    That Jeff was so clearly disrespectful is an indicator of other issues that would have resurfaced. I personally think Steph dodged a bullet. But this was clearly a WTF moment.

  3. I can't agree with you on this one as a WTF moment Amaya. Only because I encounter this shit before with black men here in Antigua. And my girlfriends too.

    I don't know what will cause any man to screw up a chance to get some nice, sweet P. But I am thinking, and I could be wrong here, they somehow seem to think that you are desperate for their package. And seeing as how you seem to want it more than them, why should they have to bend over backwards to get it.

    I have had men tell so many times that they have something for me at their house, just to try to get me over at their place. I just tell them to keep it in their cars, so the next time they see me they can give it to me then.

    But this story was really funny to me. Thanks for sharing.

    Honestly, I think that this dude was probably busy screwing around with another woman, so he made your girl wait.

  4. @Shana:

    I agree but to be honest, this is some universal BS that I've seen other men pull far too often: black, white, straight, gay.

    You arrange a hookup and they flake at the last minute.

    I think a lot of these "men" are bunch of scared little boys with unresolved sex issues but rather than manning up and addressing them, they pull this crap here.

  5. *rubs temples*

    Okay, it's taken me a couple of days to organize a response.

    This IS a WTF moment, but more importantly, it's a recurring one. It's why I wrote that post entitled "Show Me Your Dick."

    I've noticed a recurring theme in modern comedy, from Chris Rock to Dee Ray to Katt Williams - they're all telling men to stop punking out on women like this. Chris Rock says to "shut up and let it happen." Katt Williams says that if a woman offers a (straight/bi) man some sex, and he's not married or anything, he's damn near obligated to "fuck the shit" out of her.

    So men like Jeff need pimp-slapped. I'm surprised Stephanie even bothered with him a second time. I think he got intimidated when she brought up the word "expectations"; he probably started fucking around to regain control of the sitch. Because God forbid women have any expectations in bed.


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