Musings in the Dark: The Men in My Life...

3/20/2011

The Men in My Life...

I love men.  I mean, I absolutely love men.  So I’ve decided to give them some props.  This is the beginning of a series called “The Men in My Life.”  An apropos subtitle would be, “He Can Get It!”  Ladies, let’s be honest.  We all know what “it” means.  I’m just keeping it real.

  
Anyhoo, I’m going to start at the beginning and make my way forward.  My first love is a toss-up between Bruce Lee and the character of Spock, played by Leonard Nimoy.  Since Bruce is a person and not a character, I’ll begin with him.

The Legend
Bruce and I met when I was a young girl; way back in the day when I sported pigtails and was subject to the whim of my brothers.  They loved kung-fu movies, and Bruce was the gold standard.  The first time I laid eyes on him, in “Enter the Dragon,” I fell head over heels in puppy love.  I was too young to understood exactly what was going on, but I liked the feeling nonetheless.  He was simply…magnificent.  The way he dispatched bad guys was awesome, and if you blinked, you missed it, because his moves were quicksilver.  I watched Bruce put many a dude on his ass and cheered every time.  Another thing I loved about Bruce's movies were that they were unpretentious.  They didn't try to be anything more than what they were, which was a showcase for him to put the beatdown on a whole bunch of guys, including Chuck Norris.  Chuck, as "Colt," got his ass whupped.  Classic.

Bruce v. Chuck in "Way of the Dragon."
I was devastated when my brothers told me that he died and there would be no more Bruce Lee movies.  But he was such a genius that we knew there would be no shortage of imitators.  However, as Marvin & Tammi once sang, “Ain’t Nothin Like the Real Thing, Baby…”

Dual Nunchuk Beatdown
My love for Bruce never died and he still holds a place in my heart after all these years.  A few years back, I purchased all of his movies and every now and then, I have myself a marathon.  Time well spent, as I study his moves and techniques as intensely as a crackhead feenin’ for a hit.  My favorite movie is “Way of the Dragon,” where he eliminates 1o thugs in a thrilling  double nunchuk scene.  Effortlessly, and looking fine as hell while doing so.

BAMF
“Game of Death” was his final film, and it was, unfortunately, unfinished.  Most of the movie has another actor in Bruce’s stead, but the final sequence is all him, sporting an iconic yellow jumpsuit and kicking ass all the way.

What always annoyed me was that, except for in “Fist of Fury,” aka “Chinese Connection,” and “The Big Boss,” Bruce was portrayed as largely sexless and fairly ignorant about women.  He had a fianceĆ© in “Game of Death,” but since that ain’t Bruce in the movie, it don’t count.  At any rate, it annoyed me because I know that Bruce could pull major ass; why wasn’t that at least hinted at?  Of course, it was the 60’s, and we all know about the rigidity of censorship at that time.  But the directors could have shown Bruce a little love, pun intended.  He had serious sex appeal.  I haven't met a woman yet that's a Bruce Lee fan who would have denied him a piece of the snappy nappy.  To this day. 

Wicked Sexy
Well, this is my homage to Bruce.  Many have tried to step into your shoes, but they are terribly hard to fill.  Moreover, people shouldn't even try.  There are just some things, like remaking a Prince song, or screwing around with the recipe to chocolate chip cookies, that should be left alone.  You're maybe my first love, and definitely the first man I know to make an ass-kicking look absolutely delicious.  Rest in peace.

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