Musings in the Dark: Sugar (3/3)


Sugar (3/3)

I       II


The ride back to the city was mesmerizing.  I couldn’t stop gawking at the scenery; seeing San Francisco at night on the back of a motorcycle was heady.  I knew that, if Michael and I were to continue dating—it was likely—that I would be riding the Harley as often as I could.  And its owner.  There was no shame in my game.  I don’t normally behave this way; I’m usually very picky about who I give up the goodies to.  Just lately, however, I’ve been a bit less restrained…and it was great.  I didn’t know what was going to happen with Kevin and me, or with Michael and me, but I was smart enough to enjoy these experiences for what they were.  It might be a long time before I get any more quality nooky.  Best not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
            Far too soon, he was pulling up in front of my duplex.  We dismounted and he secured my helmet.  Then he turned to look at me.  I grabbed his hand and led him to my door.  Once there, we stood and looked at each other.  He took my hand and ran one callused fingertip over my cuticles.  I stared at him, at once nervous and a bit distressed that his eyelashes were long and beautiful.  Why is it that men have better eyelashes than women?  I have to purchase eyelashes that look like Michael’s.
            “You want to come in?”
            “Yeah,” he said.  “Do you want me to come in?”
            “I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”
            “Fair enough,” he said.  “But I have no expectations, Neshelle.”
            “That’s too bad,” I said.  “Because I do.”
            “Is that right?”
            “That’s right.  Come on,” I said, whipping out my keys and unlocking my door.  “Come inside.”
            When he came in, I offered to take his jacket and he gave it to me.  It was utterly ridiculous how fine the man was, but I could keep it together.
            “Do you want something to drink?”
            He sat on the couch.  “No.  Not yet, anyway.”
            I took off my jacket and tossed both coats on the recliner and sat next to him.  Michael leaned back, stretching his legs.  For a long moment, we looked at each other.  He was certainly easy on the eyes.  I wondered how many women at Sun Microsystems lusted after him.  Michael smiled at me and I bit my lip.  After such a great evening, a fairly intimate moment on the beach, and a saucy come-hither, I was suddenly shy.  I didn’t know what to say to him in the glaring light of my living room. 
            “Do you want me to leave?”
            “Why so quiet?”
            “Because I’m just trying to get my head around all this.”
            “All what?”
            I bit my lip again.  Michael couldn’t know that I’d had a similar conversation with Kevin on this same couch last week.  I had to be very careful with this whole thing.  “We’ve been talking regularly for almost three weeks.  It’s obvious that we like each other, and we’re both too old to play games.  I wasn’t expecting this.  It was almost out of the blue.  You and…you came from nowhere, and in spite of my attraction to you, I’m trying to figure out what to do next.”
            “What do you want to do next?”
            “I don’t know.”
            “Tell you what,” Michael said, putting his hand on my thigh, “Don’t try to figure out what to do.  We’ll just let it go where it wants to go.  I do like you and I am very attracted to you.  I want to be with you and I would have never approached you if I wanted anything less.”
            I smiled at him and sat back.  “Fair enough, Michael.”
            “I’ll say this,” he said, “I would not mind if it led to a kiss.  That one we shared earlier was a tease.  I want more.”
            I nodded, smiling widely.  “It was.”  Then I looked around.  We were comfortable on the couch and I wanted to kiss him.  But I wanted to feel his body against mine in a way that wasn’t possible on the couch.   “Can we stand up to kiss?”
            Michael looked at me and put a finger on my chin.  “Is that what you want?”
            “Yes,” I said.  I really liked the way he had me cornered against the rail when we were at the park.  I wanted that particular sensation again.
            He stood up and took my hand.  I got to my feet and he smiled at me.  “I have no problems with a woman telling me what she wants.”
            “Good,” I said, moving in such a way that my back was to the wall.  “Because I’ll draw you a roadmap to my orgasm and demand that you follow it.”  I told Kevin the same thing last week and he followed it to the T.  With blissful results, I might add.
            He put his hands on my cheeks and nuzzled my nose.  “Oh Neshelle, I like you so much…”
            And to my delight, Michael pushed me against the wall and cornered me.  It was such a sexy sensation.  The kiss was slow at first; he captured my upper lip and then my bottom one before moving his hands to my waist and kissing me deep.  He explored my mouth in a slow, dream-like fashion and I did the same to him. Michael’s mouth was ridiculously delicious and I pressed against him like a wanton.  I threw my arms around him.  Then he moved his lips to my ear and neck, nipping gently while I sucked on his earlobe.  A soft growl escaped his throat and his hands left my waist.  He grabbed my ass like he knew what to do with it and I gasped and met the wicked, sexy look in his dark eyes.
            “Oh hell yes,” I said.  “Do you know what you’re doing?”
            “Do you want me to show you?”
            “I’m not afraid,” I said.  “Show me.”
            After that, it was on.  I told Michael where my bedroom was, and he picked me up and carried me to it. 

Ummm, yeah.
            As far as I’m concerned, when it comes to sex, a man has done his job when all I want to do after I’ve come is roll over and go to sleep.  I don’t have a great need to be cuddled or have a post-coital chat.  If he has done what he’s supposed to do, then both of us should be tired.  After I finally got off of Michael, after ‘O’ # 3, I was exhausted.  He had certainly done what he was supposed to do.  I rolled over on my stomach and let out a gusty, heavy sigh.  He lay on his back and his fingers grazed my side.
            “That was amazing,” I said.
            “You think so?”
            “My forehead’s sweaty and my legs are still quivering, so yes.  I do.”
            “It was, Neshelle.  I meant it when I said I had no expectations past a good time at Great America, but this was a wonderful bonus.”
            “I’m sleepy,” I said.
            “Oh,” Michael said, rolling to his side.  I felt his fingers sliding over my back.  “I guess that means I did what I was supposed to do.”
            “Good.  You understand the rules of engagement.”
            “I understood the rules of engagement when you told me you would provide a map to your pleasure.  I knew then that you were not a woman to be trifled with.  What a relief.  I’m tired of dealing with females who don’t know or own their sexuality.  It’s very unappealing.”
            “Do I take that to mean you always fuck on the first date?”
            He laughed.  “No.  I haven’t done anything like this in a long time.  Do you?”
            I chuckled into the pillow, deciding that he didn’t need to know that the only other time I’d done such a thing was last week with Kevin, and I had not been able to help myself that time either.  Kevin was irresistible in a way that was different from Michael.  I was going to be in trouble if I kept messing around with both of them.
            “No,” I said.  “I try to be a respectable girl, Michael, but there is nothing proper about my attraction to you.”
            “Good to know,” he said.  “I haven’t been able to think straight since I got here.  And I’m going to leave it up to you to plan our next date.  You have complete control over this thing and I don’t mind you having it.  I’m man enough that I can handle you telling me what you want and how you want it.”
            I rolled over to look at him.  “Thank you, Michael.”
            “I like you,” he said.  “I want to have something with you.  We’re very compatible, don’t you think?”
            “You would not be in my bed if that weren’t the case, handsome.”
Lucky heifer.
            He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.  I slipped my fingers through his hair and kissed his lips.  In moments, we were at it again and it was sinful, yet sweet.  He picked me up and held me in such a way that my legs were in the crook of his elbows and he bounced me up and down on that marvelous instrument he had between his legs.  Oh, but this man could get it!  I was going to need to take another trip to my stylist, because Michael, like Kevin, had thoroughly sweated out my hair.
            Later, he was helping me change the bed.  The sheets were far too damp and as tired as I was, I could not sleep on wet sheets.  We did it naked and laughing and I thought about how much fun it was being with Michael.  Then I thought about how much fun it was being with Kevin.  The only difference was that he and I had sex in the living room; we had been all over each other and Kevin hadn’t bothered to ask where my bed was, and I hadn’t cared enough to tell him.  Michael finished stuffing my goosedown pillow into the fresh pillowcase. 
            “You want to spend the night?” I asked.  It was after midnight.
            “I would love to,” he said.  “But I have an early day tomorrow and I’d better go home.”
            “I hope I haven’t kept you up too late,” I said, putting on a robe.
            “Are you kidding?” he said.  “This was completely worth it.  Besides, I like riding my Harley at night.”
            “It is a unique experience, I’ll give you that.”
            “We’ll do it again,” he said.  He started to get dressed and I went to get something to drink.  While I was in the kitchen devouring grapes, he came out, smiling at me.  I gave him a bottle of water and offered him the bowl of grapes.  Michael took a handful.
            “Thanks,” he said.
            “You’re welcome.”
            He popped the grapes as he put on his jacket.  I went over to help him zip up, smiling at the warmth in my stomach.
            “What are you smiling about?”
            “We used an entire box of condoms,” I said. 
            “That’s a good thing, Neshelle.”
            “It definitely is,” I said as we started walking to the door.  “I’ll make sure that I have plenty on hand the next time our date goes beyond expectations.”
            “Smart girl,” Michael said.  Then he opened my door and turned to look at me.  “Let’s include a stargazing portion in our next outing.”
            I’m sure my smile was so wide that the man could see all 32 of my teeth.  “I’d like that, Michael.”
            “Get some sleep tonight.”
            A yawn escaped me.  “Don’t worry,” I said.  “I’m sure I’ll be snoring the moment my head hits the pillow.”
            “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said.  “I had a really good time tonight.”
            “I did too, Michael.”
            He leaned in for another kiss, which I gave with gusto in spite of my exhaustion.  Then he ruffled the top of my head and winked at me.  “Good night.”
            “Good night,” I said, watching him as he went to his motorcycle and put on his helmet.  He started the Harley, revved the engine, and waved at me before backing out of my driveway.  I closed the door and leaned against it as I listened to the bike’s retreating rumble and wondered how in the hell I was going to handle dating two extraordinary men at one time.  As I shuffled towards my bedroom, I picked up my cell phone and noticed that I’d missed four calls.  One was from my best friend and the other three were from Kevin.  I listened to my voice mail, halfway nervous about the message I was about to hear.
            “Neshelle?  It’s Kevin.  I’ve been thinking about you all day and I want to see you.  I know it’s short notice, but will you have dinner with me tomorrow?  Call me.  Leave a message.”
            It was almost two o’clock in the morning.  I set my phone to charge and sighed as I sat down on my freshly-made bed.  I knew that I was going to call Kevin in the morning and agree to have dinner with him.  Just as I knew that I was going to arrange another date with Michael within the next couple of days.  I found both men appealing and alluring. I couldn’t help it.  And I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell I was getting myself into.


A/N:  Not to be trifling, but I think it's best you see why Neshelle may be in trouble.  Here's a picture of Kevin.

I will take trouble like this any day of the week.  Trust.


  1. One the one hand, I hate that this is a short and that it is over. On the other hand, I completely recognize that the reason why I am upset is because you wove an enthralling story! Brava!


    I often pictured and replaced the hot male leads as butch/boi/andro women (Jenny Shimizu, plenty of androgynous Asian ladies). I do wish that there were more places for AWBW, but I get my fill through AWBM outlets, and smooth stories like these.

  2. Thank you! I appreciate your comment!

    One of the things that I've taken to heart is that if we don't tell our own stories, no one else will. I encourage you to try your hand at writing stories that appeal to your interests. There's not a lot of places for AMBW, and I can imagine that there are even fewer for AWBW.
    Someone has to take the lead and fill the need, and there is a need to tell those stories as well.

    You'll find that you attract like-minded individuals (as I'm sure you know), and you can begin your own movement, as we did on The Blasian Narrative.

    Anyhoo, thank you again for your support!

  3. I.E. the pic of Kevin.....THATS NOT EVEN FAIR!!!!

  4. UGH! I REALLY thought I commented! And Shar-De is right---NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this story SOOOOOO much, though!!!! <3

    And ps, I giggled when I saw the "lucky heifer" caption XD

  5. @ Esque

    I really hope you start a BW/AW blog and/or movement. I could be of some help in terms of organization.

    @ Amaya

    Girl....I'm surprised. I thought this was going to be waaaaay more M-rated than this (you know how you do), but you handle T-rated quite skilfully, ma'am. Kudos.

    Your taste in muses is flawless. Sanaa Lathan needs to do a steamy Blasian film ASAP.


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