Musings in the Dark: Why I'm Justified


Why I'm Justified

I've been meaning to sit down and write this post, but I got caught up in the marvelously sexy, dark, and malevolently murderous world of Macallan and Madalyne Zhou.  But it's time to pause for the cause.

A little while ago, I got hit up on social media by someone who wanted to get to know me.  I was comfortable with being an online pal, as we live on two separate continents, and this was established by me immediately.  But for whatever reason, this person jumped in with both feet and wanted to start exchanging information, as in pictures.   Somebody had defined notions of beauty, and s/he "needed" to know what I looked like in order to "assign values."  In order to be an online buddy.

*snort*  Think about that for a second.  

More on the algebra fuckshit in a moment.

I sent my avatar picture.  There are many reasons why I don't reveal my countenance.  Many reasons.  MANY REASONS. This individual wasn't satisfied with what I chose to send, nor with the explanation I provided and told me, “Don't treat me like someone from your past."

What I couldn't understand was why it was so important to know what I looked like when 1. We lived in two separate hemispheres, and 2. Were never going to meet.  (The objective, as far as I was concerned, was to be a social media buddy)  The individual claimed s/he was "picky and judgmental" and referenced the aforementioned algebra fuckshit.

Think about that for a moment.  Let that marinate.  Someone who was all up in my mentions and pushing up on me couldn't respect the boundary I put up, so you all know where this was going to lead—nowhere—and eventually end; quick, fast, and in a hurry.  As far as I’m concerned, such behavior is indicative of someone operating in their fresh 20s, with little to no tact, and for damn sure harboring an inability to respect personal boundaries.  Time for this bullshit Amaya doesn't have.

Upon seeing the words "picky and judgmental" coupled along with "assign(ing) values [to beauty]," I knew that I was dealing with someone who was completely and utterly not even in my stratosphere of grown ass woman-ness.  I was dealing with someone who wanted a woman (again, knowing the facts, why???) with a Western standard of beauty; a woman with a "perfect" face and body.  I was dealing with someone who was so superciliously superficial that it was freaking hilarious.  Hence this post.  Laugh with me, if you will.

I challenged that response and questioned their personhood, and then cleared all the bullshit out of the motherfucking room by describing myself in all my gloriously utter fabulousness.

S/he couldn’t handle the 3D realness and I like to think s/he ran screaming from the room.

After that, I didn't hear from that person anymore, and thank God for small favors.  My reasons for not showing my face were once again validated, and as always, completely justified.  You have to beware of fuckninjas who come out of the gate demanding to know what you look like when it shouldn't even matter; especially if it’s for an online friendship.  What’s the point?  As far as I'm concerned, that is a red flag and I knew immediately that the time we spent messaging back and forth was going to be blessedly short.  But you have to give some people enough rope to hang themselves and watch in amusement as they do this very thing.

Don't treat me like someone from your past.  How can I not, when you act the same way?  Save that eau de garbage for a youngling who doesn’t know any better.

I do want to acknowledge that people should avoid openly using the words "picky and judgmental" when they themselves don't fall under the same standard of beauty they want potential mates to have.  That's like wanting a Beyonce when your ass looks like Biggie Smalls, may he RIP (Biggie was not attractive and he knew it).  It's like wanting a 10 when you're a 0.01. 

I admire anyone who sets high goals, but you also got to know when you're full of shit.

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