Musings in the Dark: Whew! and Why???


Whew! and Why???

It’s been a rough few weeks.  School’s been in a month and the grind over here is 180 degrees different from the grind I was used to in the States.  Now I’m in an ideal situation, so I’m not about to complain about any of the “troubles” I’m encountering.  What’s had to change is the way I deal with said issues, because discipline is simply not a problem here.  It isn’t.  The school can well afford to be elitist, but with the good comes the crazy.  For me, crazy is the complete lack of junk food to be found inside this institution.  There are no snack machines, no soda machines, no teacher’s lounge with goodies hidden inside, and not even a whiff of a school store that sells candy bars.  The lunches served consist of real food, good food, in proper portion sizes served on real plates with silverware.  Students drink water, tea, fresh fruit juices or Gatorade.  That’s it.

(Not to mention the sheer size of the campus, which forces me to exercise)

(I should also mention that there ain’t a hottie in the joint.  So depressing for soooooooooooooooooooo many reasons)

(There’s also the fact that everybody in the school is freaking married to each other [but don’t have same last names], and with the whole, “We’re all family” theme going on, I can’t help but insert a creepy incestuous subtext here)

It is death for someone like me, someone whose muse thrives on processed sugar and salty snacks (and regular views of hot men).  I truly believe that is the main reason why she’s avoiding me.  Normally I am uber-productive this time of year, and Lawd knows I’ve got two fanfics to finish and two novels to complete.   But the ol’girl…she’s nowhere to be found.

Well, that’s not entirely true.  I’ve been having some really fucked up dreams lately, which is usually a sign that she’s going to grace me with a visit.  But it could just as easily be the adjustment to my new life causing me to visualize crazy shit (such as initiation into a top-shelf swingers club, and a jealous, murderous, covetous older lover) when I close my eyes.  Either way, I don’t like not being able to write.  I mean, I’m fine with the dreams…just not with the lack of creative production.  I keep thinking about my Nightingales and the eventual re-issue of Tainted…and it terrifies me to think that I may never get around to finishing Blade Dancer.  I had goals, damn it...plans to have these books FINISHED by now!!!

As usual, in re: my plans for me, God said, “That’s cute, but this is what Imma do…”

I’ll probably get back to blogging regularly in October.  I miss you guys and I have a lot to say (not about Miley Cyrus’ trampy ass; plenty of folks are handling that better than I ever could).  Perspective is everything and context is key, so maybe my assimilation into this completely new world (I’m starting language classes in a week) will be the spark my muse needs to allow me to finish my novels.  I’m not even gonna worry about the fanfics right now (sorry, fans of Max & Bane, and my Pitch Black sistren), as they’re incidental. 

WAIT!!!!!!!  Did I just have an idea there….???

To be continued….


  1. Hey girl, so happy to see a new blog post from you.

    Still no hotties, WTF? I am so looking forward to some pics to drool all over. And on top of all of that, there are no good snacks to tide you over. Hang in there.

  2. I think that once I'm able to start traveling regularly to the city and out of my little expat enclave, I'll encounter more of the real. And best believe, I'm finding SOME alternative snacks...just not much. But I'll be ok. The money is way too good...


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