So there I
was, jobless and still in school, slaving over data analysis and the completion
of my dissertation. Fortunately, my
brother moved in and paid the bills as they related to the house, but it didn’t
cover the things I did for myself in terms of pampering. It was a sacrifice of the highest order, as I’ve
worked steadily since age 19.
As an
educator, jobs come available at certain times, so fall came and went, as did
winter. I worked on finishing school, as
that was all I had to do other than write my novels. The phone remained silent and I was terrified
that I’d be stuck having to take a job at yet another public school. I will not elaborate on why that terrified
me, but y’all ain’t stupid. Three weeks
ago, I successfully defended my dissertation and the very next day, I got an
email from the principal of a school in Asia, asking me if we could Skype; he
was interested in my educational profile.
Things went extremely well, and two interviews and ten days later, they
offered me the job.
So...I’m moving to Asia
to teach at a posh private school.
Was it what
I wanted when I left the public school classroom last spring? Not exactly, but I’ve learned some things
during my time here on Earth. What I thought I wanted was something that was
short-sighted; a temporary fix; a band-aid for a broken spirit. The time it took me to finish school was the
amount of time I needed to regenerate. I’m
not an educator who feeds her students out of a long-handled spoon. I’m better when I’m physically with my kids. Being a virtual-school instructor would have
been a ginormous, grievous error. My
friend, who is currently in this position, says that she spends 10-12 hours a
day seated in front of a computer, teaching.
While she doesn’t have to deal with the day-to-day madness that comes
when handling children in real-time, there is the fact that because she’s
dealing with students all over the world, she doesn’t have a set schedule like
a classroom instructor does. And she
doesn’t get to experience the things that teachers appreciate; like the look a
kid gets when they finally understand something, or when they know you give a
shit about them. This matters and it’s
the lifeblood of any real educator. I’m
supposed to be in the classroom and the year I spent out of it let me know this. And I’m so excited, so this is absolutely right.
Leaving the
country has been a dream of mine since I first put my hands on a globe. Italy is my dream location and I may very
well retire there. But that, too, is
something I had to let go of in order to be blessed in the way I have been. I’m going to have to leave a lot of things
behind, but I own those things; they don’t
own me.
If you have
a dream, don’t be afraid to go after it.
I spent eleven years working on my doctorate and now it’s mine and no
one will ever be able to take it from me.
I will leave the United States with Dr. prefixed to my first name and/or Ph.D.
suffixed to my surname and go to a place where I will get the salary it
commands and the respect it deserves. I
gladly leave all *this* behind. I will, of course, share some of my
experiences here as well as on the Blasian Narrative and Black Girl Nerds. But my future has arrived and I’m going to
embrace it.
Sincerely,
Dr. Amaya
Radjani
-OR-
Amaya
Radjani, Ph.D.
P.S. I’m still getting used to being called “doctor.” It’s surreal. I keep looking around wondering who they're talking to. Though, to
be honest, this is the only time I'll mention my new title on my blog, as it's
not really relevant to what The Dark is about.
